Monday, September 21, 2015

The Three Most Important Dates in Life

There are three important dates in one’s life: the day you were born, the day you realized why you were born and the day you die.

"The timing of death, like the ending of a story, gives a changed meaning to what preceded it." - Mary Catherine Bateson

I do not remember the day I was born but my mother told me that she had her head in a pillow and her arse in the air while she wailed and kicked her legs. She had no idea what birth was all about. Of course, after me a lot of children came via the same route so she got better at it.

The day I realized why I had been born is the day that it finally got through to me that I can weave magic with words and by being absolutely authentic in my own life, I can inspire others. I was born to fight injustice.

According to Mary Catherine Bateson, what precedes my death will change the meaning of it. Right from the start, let me tell you that I am unafraid of death. What frightens me is living a life that has no meaning. So, what precedes my death? How will I be remembered? The correct ending of my story cannot be “She died after a long illness bravely borne” because I have not been brave. – I have done everything but borne this illness bravely. I have screamed and shouted, cried and howled, researched and followed leads, joined support groups and have learned more than any medical doctor other than two professors who actually work on the rare diseases I have. Instead of just sprouting out these long medical diagnostic terms, I will just say that I have a gene mutation and all my b- and t-cells are fucked. It is very hard to live with this illness. It took the meaning of my life away from me for a time and I had to work hard to get that meaning back. I have learned that I do not have to go out and do these things myself. I can use words as my weapon against injustice.

So what would be the correct ending of this story – of this life? Don’t bury me with those stupid words. Bury me with my boots on.