Thursday, May 14, 2015

Last Public Words on Eugene de Kock - by me

My task is complete.  I can now put this cause of championing for the freedom of Eugene de Kock down.  He called me today.  His strict parole conditions will be lifted shortly, and under the circumstances he is happy.  I asked him if he has everything he needs.  Like the true gentleman that I have come to know through my research, his answer was, “I have a bed, blankets, food … I have much more than many people in our country has”. 
It is not a co-incidence, but a God-incidence that I had already written this piece and had decide to call it  “My final public words on Eugene de Kock” when Eugene phoned me from Julian Knights office.    I am still going to share the majority of what I had already written with you.  Only my introduction has changed because I got that phone call at 14h00 today.  Eugene has asked me to close the group by midnight tomorrow, 15 May 2015.   I will delete everyone from the group by 21h00.
This has been quite a journey.  Through lobbying and championing for a release from prison of Eugene de Kock, I have lost many so-called friends and DNA family.  The decision to take on this cause was made when I received a reply from Eugene de Kock in response to a letter that I had sent him.  He told me in that letter that he was a lost cause, and my energies would be better spent on something else.  The moment I read that sentence was the moment that a great and driving passion gave birth within me to see a wrong put right. 
Over the years I watched our membership grow from a membership of 3 to a membership of over 3500 members.  That in itself was a miracle because Eugene de Kock was a very unpopular political hot potato.  And an even larger miracle was that so many people, including previous enemies, stood together and with one voice in harmony, requested his release on compassionate grounds only.
On 31 January 2015, Eugene de Kock was given parole by the Minister of Justice and Correctional Services.  Another miracle!!
The lies, secrecy, double agents, secret security agents and the unknown whereabouts of this prisoner between that day and today can only be described as unconstitutional, a human rights abuse and has left more questions about parole than answers.  Every question asked, created more uncertainty.
My own involvement over the last three months has been harrowing.  The numbers of people who have wanted to ride on the infamy of Eugene and whose egos have needed to be stroked have been too many.  These vocal people were members of our group until fairly recently, when hearing the truth no longer suited them.   Their agendas and our agendas started to deviate more and more.    Up to the point when the Minister announced Eugene’s parole, I entertained those who had different agenda’s to mine, only because I had decided that if it were necessary for me to sup with the devil in order to get Eugene free, then I would do it.   Once I had established that my intuition was right about the ‘strangest parole ever’, I was no longer prepared to entertain people who were out to gain benefit from Eugene.   What shocked me the most was that not even those closest to him, or his legal representatives, knew what had happened to him or that he had gone missing.  Everyone had become so complacent after the Minister’s announcement, that he was forgotten! 
I did not forget.  I even put up with people telling me to leave the man alone, and wanting to know what I was trying to gain from disturbing his peace.  I have been offended and demonized over and over, but the latest allegation that I used a ploy to fraudulently accumulate money for myself by using a “pension for Eugene de Kock” scheme is not only a lie, it is insulting to my integrity.  
With Conrad Kruger and Jaap Cilliers now working as Vos’s (Eugene’s brother) legal team, and in conjunction with Julian Knight and Roelof du Plessis for Eugene, my input is no longer required.  The petition for a Pardon or Unconditional Release can continue up until Eugene’s sentence of 25 years has been served, or until Eugene informs Ben Kruger or myself to withdraw it from circulation.   
Eugene was sentenced to 212 years which was commuted to life imprisonment.  From my understanding of our Justice and Correctional Services law, a person who has a life sentence can be unconditionally released after serving 25 years.  Eugene has served 20 years of the 25 years.  The five years between are the years that he has been given parole for.  Thus, after 25 years, he will by law have an unconditional release, which means that he will be truly free and not under the supervision of the Department of Correctional Services.
I no longer want my words and my writing to be policed by others.  I want to write what I like, as Steve Biko used to say.  I also no longer want to be the scapegoat for others with ulterior and impure motives.
What I have gained by taking on the cause to free Eugene de Kock cannot be measured in money.  Eugene has on many occasions given me the reason to get up and fight harder for my own life.  For that, I will be eternally grateful.  I regret nothing.
I wish everyone in the Free Eugene de Kock FB Group every blessing and that each of us will always have enough of whatever it is we need, and a little more besides so that we can help one another.  My prayer for Eugene de Kock is that his true freedom becomes a reality as soon as is humanly possible for the legal teams to arrange.
Thank you for all your support, love and concern, not only for Eugene, but for me personally over the years.   Thank you too must go to the admins of the group, Ben Kruger, James Marx and Dewaldt Louw for the thousands of man hours that went into this campaign.  I would be re-miss if I did not include a thank you to all the female warriors of the group. Their intuition was right every time.  
I have made some life-long friends – people who I am proud to be associated with.  May the breeze be always at your back, the sun on your shoulders and may every storm contain the glimmer of a rainbow.
With love always

Merc Chick 
P.S. I will never forget the courage and tenacity of the group who fought this fight!  I salute you all. 

The Issue of the Colour of My Skin

Racism – I have often heard the comment, “I am not racist.  I have lots of friends who are white/black”.   That is basically the argument used by all and sundry when the conversation turns to racism.

I would like to ask these non-racists a few questions and would like to hear their honest reply.

Have you ever slept with, loved with, cried with, laughed with, attended cultural events with, attended celebrations with, attended funerals with, hugged, cared about, worked with, given to, received from, had arguments with, agreed with, promoted or criticized, dreamed with, bathed with, been naked with, dressed with, showered with, eaten with, prepared food with, shopped with, gone hungry with, learned the language of, or loved completely and totally a person or people of a different colour skin to yours?

Because if those with the loudest defence at being accused of racism were honest, their answer to all or most of these questions would be “NO”.  

I can answer “YES” to all these questions.    Through luck, fate or destiny, Africa is the continent of my birth.  Children do not see me as being different to them for love has no colour; it is the adults who make a huge issue out of the light complexion of my skin. 

Monday, May 11, 2015

Having a NAFI day!

Do you also have days when you are a complete NAFI – when you have No Ambition and F-all Interest?  
Do your thoughts flit from one place to another, never settling long enough to reach a conclusion?  Do you wonder what the purpose of life really is?  Do you get butterflies in your tummy that refuse to fly in formation, no matter how many commands you give them?  Do you consider your non-existence or your complete absence of consciousness?  Do you also sometimes look at what is going on in the world and wonder if there can possibly be a God that knows what He is doing?  Do you sometimes struggle to see only the good in people and to continually have a non-judgemental attitude?  Are you always grateful for the moment or realize that this moment is all we have?  Do you also think that you are just a microcosm of the big macrocosm out there and that as a grain of sand you can affect nothing; or does that also alternate with knowing that every action has a reaction and therefore the grain of sand can make a difference?   Do you think about life being just birth, procreation, suffering and death?  Do you also think that life is very messy and it is not just a choice between positive and negative, or between two opposing ideas or concepts?  Do you have days when you can fly kites under a carpet?

The only answer to all these questions is that tomorrow holds the possibility of having all the answers.  Tomorrow your spirit may fly ever higher and the energy you receive will be spent on living a day worth remembering. 

Friday, May 8, 2015

Spooks, Spies, Paranoia and Eugene de Kock !!

The secrecy around the parole of Eugene de Kock and the subsequent events, which remain shaded and in the shadows, has got me thinking that we are in a state of communistic paranoia.  
Inside a story, is another story, and inside that one, is another.  There are circles within circles within ever diminishing circles until only one thing remains, Eugene de Kock.  From the point of Eugene, the events and the circles move outward like the ripples that continuously make rings when you throw a stone into the middle of a large, but still pond. 
I think I have read every non-fiction book and journal ever written on Communism; from the birth of Karl Marx to the life and times of Mao.  My greed for knowledge of communism has stemmed from the part I played in the political history of our country, South Africa.
It is against the background of this knowledge that I have begun to unravel and understand the reasons behind the secrecy and lies, the spies and the double agents and the shadowy world in which people within a secret State Security Agency live. 
What a person is told is very rarely the truth in a communist state where paranoia rules.  Paranoia is only found in sane people who are able to lie and keep secrets, and in people who can divide their personality and essential self into separate compartments and play different roles convincingly.  Secrets, lies and fear lie behind the hide-and-seek game being played out with Eugene de Kock.  And it is not fair and it is not just.
From being the highest decorated police officer ever in South Africa, he became the scapegoat; the common criminal and prisoner of a society that had changed its mind.   The terrorist in prison for treason became the President; the man who put his life at risk for his country became the criminal.  What a terrible price to pay for a few men who changed their minds, and then a media who jumped on the band wagon to demonise a hero?  A hero decorated for bravery thrown into prison and a terrorist applauded and praised!
Yes, I understand now.  Eugene de Kock knows too much about too many important people and the mere mention or rumour spread about previous spies, askaris and double agents is enough to keep him away from society so that his silence can be enforced.  Political careers are made and demolished by mere suggestions or rumours that someone was a collaborator with the Apartheid state.   Is Eugene being ‘protected’ or ‘kept in custody’ by the SSA?   Of course, the normal unthinking person will say “Oh! That is good that they are protecting him.  Why are you worried?”   Another completely ignorant person will say, “Oh! But I thought he was on parole?”  And yet another will say to me, “Why don’t you just let it go now?  Give the man some peace!”  And the most stupid of them all are those who spread lies about me because I have become a threat to the egos of others. 
The question that arises is this: 
Is he being protected or is he still being held in custody by the State Security Agency (SSA) instead of the Department of Correctional Services (DCS)?
Did the Department of Justice and Correctional Services make a blunder when they denied his parole on the basis of not having consulted with the victims?   After that denial for that particular reason, the request for parole could not later be denied after fulfilling the required reason when he was denied parole.  In other words, once the Department of Justice and Correctional Services said, “You can’t get parole because you have not consulted with the victims”, when he applied again, there was no longer a reason to with-hold parole.
If the Department of Justice and Correctional Services made a blunder, the next best thing for the government to do would be to hand him over to another state agency to keep him away from society and to keep him silenced.  This is actually what seems to have happened to Eugene.  He was taken from his cell (without any of his belongings), three days before the Minister of Justice announced his parole to the media, by members of the South African Police Service.  From there he was handed over to the State Security Agency.  Thus, Correctional Services said they did not have him, the South African Police Service said they did not have him and the Minister of Justice continued to state that he was on parole.
Let us not forget that Eugene de Kock pleaded guilty and was sentenced as an ordinary criminal and not as a political prisoner.  That being a fact, he should have been given the exact same rights of any parolee or common criminal, given the same sentence.  It is another fact that this was not done and that his parole has become entwined in a political situation where the agenda is to keep him away from normal society.  Since we now know that he is being held by the SSA, and he is being guarded by many vehicles and agents, and that even a single visit to his family entailed an enormous cloak and dagger state of affairs, should anything untoward happen to him, our fingers will be pointing exactly to those in whose custody he is.  Vlakplaas was just such an entity.  The weaving and ducking being done by the SSA is no different to the ducking and diving that was being done by the previous government’s secret agencies.  
Imagine the enormous amount of money it is taking for this country to keep one man away from society?  To do this, there has got to be an unending supply of money for one or other slush funds...slush funds similar to those funds that kept the previous governments various law and order agencies floating.  How else were askaris and spies paid?  How else where passports, documents and various things forged? How else were borders crossed and air tickets paid for?  It took money, money that was allocated to a particular slush fund for a particular purpose.  And that is what is happening now – Eugene has become an operation or a project.  There needs to be authorisation from somewhere for such an operation or project to come into existence, so who authorised the “Operation Eugene de Kock” or the “Project Eugene de Kock”.   Of course, the operation or project may have any name, such as “Project Honeybadger” or “Operation HKGK”.
The Communists are adept hands at this cloak and dagger stuff – the problem here though is that there are a lot of us who know that one and one does not make two.  Communism is enshrouded in back-stabbing, intelligence and counter-intelligence, false flags and secrets within secrets.   The politics of communism call into effect a society of whisperers, because no one knows who can be trusted and mothers are sold for less than twenty pieces of silver.   The only way to stay at the top is to use fear to silence people.   People are afraid to say anything about anything that is unpopular with the government or the ANC.  And people are afraid to get involved or to speak of Eugene de Kock; even afraid to sign a petition asking that he be given the parole he was given on the 30 January 2015.
Being held by the SSA, whether for protection or for incarceration, allows Eugene a lot more quality of care than when he was in prison.  He can put his own light on and off, he can eat when he wants, he can watch the sunrise and the sunset should he want, he can sleep when he wants, but he has extremely limited (worse than prison) contact with the outside world, including this family.

Years ago, I made an oath that I would do everything in my power to see Eugene de Kock freed, and having been extremely happy with the decision to grant him parole, I find the current situation totally unacceptable. If this is how I feel, someone who has never even met the man, I cannot even begin to try and get my head around how his loved ones must feel.   The more I learn and the more pieces of the puzzle I put together via my different sources, the more despair I feel.  Why are those in power so afraid of what Eugene de Kock knows?    He is not a threat to society, he is not hero worshipped and he has no political aspirations.  He is just an officer and a gentleman.   Put down your paranoia please Mr Minister of Justice and Mr President.  We really don’t care about what you did during the previous government.  In fact, we don’t care about the past at all.  We want to live today to make it better for tomorrow.   NOW … FREE EUGENE DE KOCK !!

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Don’t Bury me until I’m Dead!

The struggle that happens inside of us when our abilities, skills, friends, family and dreams are stripped away due to a chronic and debilitating, often terminal illness, and our search for new foundations and meanings is often more stressful and difficult to bear than the pain and symptoms of the physical disease.  
It has been my biggest struggle and has caused me the most stress.  As everyone knows, stress makes every ache and pain worse than it really is.  There is mourning for all the things we have lost and a feeling of insecurity in every moment … what happens next?  I have been to psychiatrists and psychologists, I have spoken to others in the same predicament and I have read every self-help book that remotely has bearing on my problem.   I have spent hundreds of hours questioning even the very purpose of life, let alone the purpose of suffering.   What a terribly lonely road this is on which we travel.   I want to share with you a few of the insights I have learned on this journey.
This illness is not against you.  This is not punishment. You did nothing wrong. Illness is not an indication of weakness.  It is a message that you have worked hard enough, and it is now time to slow down to this moment. We need to leave every unnecessary thing behind. We have to stop rewinding the movie of our past lives and stop fast forwarding to a future of missed chances, unreachable goals and death.  We need to even let go of our search for answers.  We will know the answers soon enough.
Let us find a place of gratitude amongst the rubble of our old dreams…from a place that has no future ideas that can never become a reality, to a place where we can again discover the delight of uncertainty, never knowing the outcome.  This is a time when we need to let go of how we thought life would be and come to terms with how life actually is, in this moment. It is in this moment that we will find a sacred place for comfort, safety and peace.
Admitting that you are tired of trying to get better, tired of trying to pretend you are well when you are not, tired of explaining the unexplainable, tired of continually trying to fit into your old life, tired of accomplishing nothing in a day, even to yourself will bring a measure of relief.   Stop trying to please others, stop trying to be more than you are in this moment, because all that you are is good enough.  
Allow your body to guide you in what you can and cannot achieve in a day.  And then let it be.  If today you managed to get out of bed and get dressed, you have already achieved.  If you only managed to go to the toilet without help, you have already achieved.  There will always be days that you will wake up and be glad you never took your life yesterday.  There will also be days when you wake up and are sorry you did not take the departure ticket you were offered yesterday.  And this too is OK.
When doctors and nursing staff begin to withdraw their emotional input, know that this is only their way of dealing with their own emotions and it is no fault of yours.  Their withdrawal is a measure of how much emotion went into trying to get you well.  And it is OK.
When the pain becomes unbearable – stop, close your eyes and allow the sensations to move through your body.  Use your imagination and breathe in healing energy while breathing out the pain.  Do whatever works for you, but don’t beat yourself up about it.  Vomiting and pain cannot last forever, nor yet for very long.  As surely as the sun follows the rain, the pain will subside and you will be able to think once again.  Just try taking one minute at a time, and then the next minute, and eventually you will be able to do it for ten minutes at a time – when you get to an hour at a time, you are through your crisis.
This illness is an invitation to stop, slow down and do whatever it is that is most important to you.  Make a bucket list of things you are able to do and that you would like to do.   Then aim at just one of them.  If you are unable to do anything about it today, tomorrow holds the possibility of more energy that will take you one step closer to that goal.  Find something that is bigger than you – something you can do that will serve others, even if it is only using social networking.  It will present you with an issue that can give your life new meaning.  With today’s technology, you could join any number of groups with the same interests as you.  Just because you are ill, does not mean that you are unable to learn something new every day.  Learn a new language, learn to play a musical instrument, take a part of history that interests you and study it, read all the books you have always wanted to read but never had the time, start a journal that you can leave behind for your children or grandchildren so they can remember you or learn about what kind of a person you were.  Become your own best friend and do whatever it is you would tell your best friend to do under these circumstances. 
If you have a rare disease, become your own medical detective.  Read as much as you can about your disease.  Rare diseases are seldom seen by physicians and you are likely to learn more than your primary doctor and unless you are at a research station, you will also know more than your specialist or consultant.  Become an active participant in your own journey.  Become an exceptional patient.  Exceptional patients help the medical profession to see things they may have overlooked.  Often, it is the exceptional patient who will stumble on a cure for a previously incurable disease. 
Your life is not over.  You have only just started a new one.   Walk courageously (even if it is in a wheelchair or bed) forward.  A new day has dawned.  Every day you live is a miracle – you are not defeated.  Everything is OK and it is OK not to be OK.  

Monday, May 4, 2015

Some of the reasons why I feel disconcerted about Jansen’s book!

Page 307 
“Dit voel asof ‘n gewig wat te swaar word om af te gooi op my Afrikanerborskas druk.  Dit is ‘n wekroep.  Ek beset dat dit te na aan die afgrond begin loop het … Aan die een kant besef ek dat as ek nie so diep in die hart Van die hoer … ingeklim het nie, sou ek nie tot groter insig kon kom oor Eugene die mens, die soldaat en die sluipmoordenaar van die staat nie.  Om die boek oor Eugene en die tydperk van waansin van die Vlakplaas-era te kon voltooi, moes ek kop eerste inspring.  Aan die ander kant voel dit vir my ek weet nou te veel.  Ek moet uit.  Ek wil uit” 
These last two sentences have made me extremely angry – why was she visiting and chasing after colleagues of EdK if she did not feel comfortable?  Was this seriously done for the good of Eugene or just another way of feathering her nest?   The unsavoury comments that are flowing out of every media advertising of this book is bringing up more hate than is necessary in the comments, but she is not there to defend the main character of her book.  I am an outsider to her views and character regarding the reasons she wrote this book, but I am very much an insider to EdK due to the thousands of hours I have spent researching and reading.  

She goes on to quote from Antjie Krog’s Country of my Skull by concluding that “We (Afrikaners) are so utterly sorry.  We are deeply ashamed and gripped with remorse”.  (My italics)   Was Jansen just one more person who used Eugene?    Has Eugene de Kock not been used by far too many people already?  I am not ashamed, nor am I gripped with remorse over our past.  I am not ashamed of Eugene.  He kept us, as well as people like Jansen, safe in their beds. 

I am deeply ashamed by the say the apartheid government used Eugene de Kock as the scapegoat for the collective responsibility of the entire cabinet and their minions.  I am deeply ashamed that we left one of our own behind. We still have to work on bringing our brother home permanently. 

Struggling up Shit Creek Every Day

There is a paradox in having a rare disease.  On the one hand, you are special because there are so few of us with the same illness.  On the other hand, there is the lack of empathy, compassion and understanding from those who matter most – from those whose support we need so desperately.  Unlike the normal run of the mill illnesses where you go to the doctor, get pills and get better, or you go to the hospital, are treated and get better, we can only, if it is possible, get the medical profession to put a plaster on just one of the symptoms that are most debilitating at that time.  And while life goes on for those who have acute illnesses, the ones with chronic debilitating and often terminal diseases are left behind by everyone as they get on with their lives. There is something terrible about having a rare disease. No one understands it, the patient knows more than the doctor and we just put a plaster on a broken leg every now and again, but the leg remains broken.
We are stuck in this place of half-way between healthy and dead; moving along the scale towards each end as quickly or as slowly, as an hour at a time, or a day at a time.  We cannot plan for the future, not even if we will be able to eat the meal that is being prepared for dinner.  We may be in the hospital, or we may have our heads hanging over the toilet bowl.  Not even our next hour is able to be planned so people forget about you, until they need your advice.  It is eventually only advice they ask for because we are unable to offer any physical assistance.  We sometimes cannot even take care of our own personal needs.
Feeling shitty becomes our new normal.  Some days we are shittier than normal and we may complain or tell someone we are not feeling well, but that falls on deaf ears.  The doctors and medical staff withdraw their emotional attachment to you as the patient, because you are not going to get well, it is only a matter of time until you die and there is nothing they can do to improve your quality of life. If you tell people you are tired, they respond with, “I am also tired”.  They have no clue that your tired is so tired that breathing and talking takes too much energy.   If people see you they say, “Gee, but you looking well.  You don’t look sick at all”.  The sickness is not outside and we don’t walk around looking half dead, with shoulders hanging and shuffling our feet.  We are trying our best to live and if that makes us look “not sick”, it does not take away the fact that we are sick.  A broken leg is easy to see, but blood and enzymes and hormones and gene mutations are not what you see on the outside.  When my new normal is shittier than normal, I just say I am undead.  It is my new word for being half-way to dead and further away from being alive.
Having a rare disease also means that if you want to live, you have to become the medical detective.  You will get to know much more than your primary doctor or even your consultant/specialist.   Rare diseases are often so rare, that a medical practitioner may go through his entire career without seeing a single case.  It is a very lonely journey we patients are on.  We are left behind to mourn each skill that we lose, each friend who no longer comes around, a family member who finds visiting too depressing and we mourn for our previous lives.  From somewhere in all this loss, we have to find a new purpose, a new foundation and a new meaning for a much restricted life.  The suffering is often so bad that we become afraid that we will not die.  We live in hope that tomorrow … or this afternoon … we may feel a little better.  Chronic disease is a lonely road – and many chronic diseases are fatal.  We don’t get better and so the social world moves on without us.  I am left behind in a society-less world, in a sterile environment where my only companion all day is my laptop and social network.

I still breath, I have a pulse and I can think.   An injured lion still needs to roar! 

Eugene de Kock's Own Words have a Greater Impact than Others who "speak" for Him.

We All Have the Capacity to Sort out the Chaff from the Grain – so too with the Life and Times of Eugene de Kock.

These are not my words below, but the words of Billy Cox, a member of our group.  I agree with his sentiments.   
I would like to add that there are many people who do not have the qualifications or the ability to write non-fiction books.  Non-fiction books need to be properly researched otherwise they just perpetuate the lies that will eventually become the truth of the masses.  Just because you read something in the media, or you listen to the news, or you watch a documentary or read something in a book, does not make it the truth.  We have been equipped with a brain that has the capacity to sort out the chaff from the grain.  We must use it to promote peace, love, compassion, understanding, kindness and to blow the embers of a spirit that is dying back into life again.


"Genl. Van der Merwe, my boodskap aan u is, om die ontslape skrywer Christoffel Coetzee aan te haal uit sy boek Op soek na ­Generaal Mannetjies Mentz: ‘Ek is nie weg nie, generaal, ek is nog net nie terug nie!’”
Dit is die woorde van kol. ­Eugene de Kock aan dié voormalige polisiekommissaris ná dié se ope brief die afgelope week waarin Van der Merwe sê daar is geen bewyse van enige aard dat enige destydse SAP-generaal geïmpliseer is in enige van die moorde waaraan De Kock skuldig bevind is nie.
In ’n brief aan Rapport skryf De Kock:
“U deel nie die publiek mee dat genl. *********** ten tyde van die Maponya-voorval reeds ’n senior vol kolonel was en later die nasionale hoof van die veiligheidspolisie se inspektoraat geword het nie.
“Ek, daarteen, was ’n junior kaptein wat in daardie stadium onder kol. ********* se bevel gedien het,” skryf De Kock.
“Niemand moet die indruk kry of dink dat ek aanspreeklikheid ontken of enige optredes en die gevolge daarvan probeer ontduik nie.”
De Kock skryf hoekom daar volgens hom geen getuienis is van hoëvlak-aandadigheid nie:
“Tydens die verskeie kommissies, en veral die Harms-kommissie, het generaal (toe nog brigadier) *********** alle verklarings opgestel. Ons moes net teken.
“Die polisie kon dit nie waag dat ons self verklarings opstel nie. Eiseregisters, reis- en verblyfregisters, dokumente soos veiligheidsverslae en elke moontlike bewys is opgespoor en verwyder of vernietig.
“Só wis ons alle rekords en bewysstukke uit om ons self te vrywaar.
“En dan later, met ironie wat dodelike gevolge het vir jouself, het jy self geen bewysstukke om jou eie saak te staaf nie.”
De Kock skryf: “Om te dink dat ek, omdat ek die minste geag is voor die verandering van regering, en daarna so prominent die sondebok moes word van die ou bestel, soveel geweet het.
“Hoeveel te meer weet u en die ander dan nie, generaal!
“Ek is gebruik om jou en al die ander soos jy se tuimel van ’n baie hoë hoogte te breek.”
De Kock gee dan ’n paar gevalle om Van der Merwe se “geheue te verfris”:
1. ‘LSD-eksperimente’
* “In 1979-’80 besoek u Koevoet se paar lede in Oshakati in die destydse Suidwes-Afrika. ***** sit aan die hoof van die tafel, die senior persoon in beheer van die gesprek.
“Sy Afrikaans is pragtig, suiwer en duidelik. Hy vertel ons hoe hy self met die verbode LSD op van die gevangenes in veiligheidspolisie-aanhouding eksperimenteer.
“Om hulle te laat praat en inligting te laat gee.
“En reg oorkant my kyk ek na ’n kantoor met kaste en kaste vol blikkiesvleis wat met dubbel-dosisse tallium behandel is; net reg vir aanwending indien nodig.”
2. ’n Plofstof-krisis
* De Kock skryf die Oos-Rand-veiligheidstak “neem die ondervraging van ’n Inkatha-lid te ver” en hy sterf.
“Ek word genader vir hulp. Ek gee raad én verskaf Oosblok-vervaardigde springstof en ontstekers.
“Maar die poging om die toneel na sabotasie of poging tot terreur te laat lyk, loop heeltemal skeef weens die lede se gebrek aan ondervinding met springstof.
“Dit lei tot ’n krisis wat die veiligheidstak-lede gaan ontbloot. Ek nader genl. **********. Hy reël dat genl. ********** die springstof-toneel besoek, ondersoek en hanteer. Die saak word so ‘reggetrek’. Alles is reg. Probleem opgelos.”
3. Die ‘tube’-probleem
*“Laat een aand kry ek ’n oproep van kapt. **********, bevelvoerder van die veiligheidstak op **********. ‘Heeelp!!!’ gil hy oor die foon. ‘Ons het ’n man vermoor.’ Ek stuur twee ­lede van seksie C.1 om hulp te verleen. Ons is goed vir die vuilwerk! Die **********- veiligheidstak-vermoorde, Sweet Sambo, verdwyn.
“Hy is met die ‘tube’-metode vermoor. Die binneband word oor die mond en neus getrek.
“Suurstof-ontneming lewer, met enkele uitsonderings, al die gewenste inligting op.
“Genl. ********** is nie beskikbaar nie, en ek lig kol. ********** in wat op sy beurt genl. ********** inlig.
“Hulle vlieg summier met die veiligheidstak-helikopter na die Skwamaans-polisiebasis naby Komatipoort op die pad na die dorpie Naas.
“Daar moet opgeruim word en ‘skoongemaak’ word.
“Kol. ******* lig my die volgende oggend in dat hulle nog die binneband met speeksel, slym en bloed aan op die toneel gekry het, sowel as ander bewysstukke.
“Geen vervolgings vind plaas nie. En die laaste keer wat ek met oud-kapt. ****** gepraat het, was hy baie tevrede met homself.”
4. ‘Toe trap hy op sy kop'
* De Kock vertel van ’n voorval in die destydse Wes-Transvaal waarin “drie of vier” mense doodgeskiet is.
“Lt. ********** loop na (die) gewonde, bejaarde man. Hy trap sy kop onder in ’n poel water vas en bly op sy kop staan totdat hy verdrink. Hierdie persone het geen wapens gehad nie, nog geen misdaad gepleeg nie.
“Maar die drie afgedeelde blanke lede van die seksie se vaders was almal baie senior lede van die S.A. Polisie se veiligheidstakke. Generaal, brigadier.
“Die ondersoek-beampte van die Pretoria moord-en-roof vind ernstige ongerymdhede en stel dit só in sy verslag. Maar genl. ********* ‘trek’ die saak reg. Alles is in die haak. Geen probleme nie. Hierdie groep manne van u word ook nie vervolg nie.”
De Kock sluit af:
“Ek wou nooit daar gaan en daardie kissie van Pandora oopmaak nie. Maar laat ek daardie kruis dan ook vir myself baie, baie ligter maak. U verplig my nou, na aanleiding van u aanhoudende druk, om daaroor te skryf. Ek gaan so maak, volledig en duidelik.”
Eugene A. de Kock (Gevangene 94616105)

*Name is op regsadvies verwyder. Lees ook die briewe in Weekliks (Jou beurt).

Eugene de Kock - Authors Should Walk just a few Steps in His Shoes

 (This may become part one in a series but then again, maybe not.  When he can defend himself, then my task is completed)
I have always had a problem with labelling people, particularly when the labelled person is not present to defend him or herself.  I have also always had a problem with labelling and consequently stereotyping particular groups.   I learned early in my life that people are people and that there is good and bad in every one of us.  The very quality that makes one person murder another is inside of each of us – whether we decide to murder or not is dependent on many things, including our upbringing, the social milieu we are in during our formative years, the amount, the content and the quality of our schooling, and the particular circumstances we find ourselves in at any particular moment.   The quality that makes one person put his life at risk for another, is also something that we all have inside of us. 
I do believe that the basic tenant of the Catholic religion I was brought up in has contributed to my abhorrence of labelling people.  Never judge another if you have not walked a mile in his shoes has always been my guiding principal when viewing, understanding and empathising with the actions of others.  
In my life-time I have witnessed a terrorist turning into a freedom fighter.  I have witnessed a person convicted of treason become the President of that very country in which he committed that treason.  I have witnessed the most decorated Police Officer ever in our country become the most despised and hated criminal who spent years in prison.  That same highly decorated police officer was locked up in solitary confinement for 31 months – and no one cared.  No one bothered to think past the media headlines.  That loathed criminal was abandoned by his country and by his fellow citizens – those who by his actions were kept safe in their beds. That highly decorated police officer was now labelled “Prime Evil”.   The terrorist became the symbol of everything good in a black man, while the Police Officer became the symbol of everything evil in a white man.  And we have the media to thank for that. 
Over the years, I have read everything published about Eugene de Kock and I have read a thousand times that he was called Prime Evil by his colleagues.  This is absolute rubbish.  That title “Prime Evil” was given to Eugene de Kock by Jacques Pauw.  It gathered momentum and was printed and uttered so many times that people believed it to be the truth.  It was anything but the truth.  It was only the licence of an investigative journalist and author who used a figment of his imagination to demonise Eugene de Kock.  
Goebels, the Nazi Commander, stated that if you tell a lie long enough, the people will believe you.  Is that what Jacques Pauw wanted?  Did he want a lie told often enough that people would believe it to be the truth?
Giving people negative labels and stereotyping people negatively makes the person uttering the words a murderer.  He or she is murdering someone’s character.   How dare anyone do that to another, and especially when that person or people are unable to defend themselves against such an attack?   It is a bully and a coward who does something like that.  I only hope that Jacques Pauw labelled Eugene de Kock only as a way to advertise his work and did not label him to assassinate his character.  I hope his intentions were purer than that.
Character assassination is as bad as murder.  It is committed by a bully when the victim cannot stand up for himself.
I have read many skewed stories and some downright lies about Eugene de Kock.  It has made my blood boil, but I have had to refrain from counter-attacking because I did not want to add to fuel to the fire.  I have not, nor will I ever, put Eugene de Kock at any more risk than he already is.  This may not be my only blog on the lies that have been told or the shenanigans that have gone on around the parole issue of Eugene.  There may be more, depending on how strongly I feel about one or other of the issues still surrounding Eugene de Kock.
I share with you a Facebook post by Billy Cox (and a staunch member of the now Secret Free Eugene de Kock FB Group) in which Eugene de Kock puts the author on the spot.

 Eugene de Kock: ‘Ek het Japie nié doodgeslaan met ’n graaf nie!’
2014-07-19 22:50
Hy skryf aan Jacques Pauw:

Om nie u berig in Rapport verlede Sondag, asook die verklaring van genl. Johan van der Merwe, reg te stel nie sal beteken ek aanvaar onomwonde alles wat geskryf is.

Ek sal dus só beoordeel word, die leuen word dus die waarheid!

Ek is nie afgekeur vir taakmagopleiding vanweë my sig nie. Ek is uitgenooi om die eerste taakmag-groep daar te stel en die kursus by te woon.

Ek was reeds ’n lid van die informele groep wat later die taakmag sou word. In 1976 moes ek terselfdertyd gaan vir ’n offisierskursus. Ek het die offisierskursus gekies.

Ek het teen daardie tyd reeds al valskermspronge gedoen, met en sonder ’n bril.

U konsentreer nou al jare lank daarop dat ek ’n hakkelaar was en is.

Ek sal dit bly. U hamer daarop omdat dit so ’n erg gestigmatiseerde, sosiaal-pynlik, skaam, kwellende en teisterende gebrek is.

Dit is goed so. Hou so aan. Maar dit leer wel mense wat soos ek ’n spraakgebrek het eén ding: Ons sien en hoor meer omdat ons nie praat nie of gesprekke vermy. En met ons geheue skort daar niks!

Die naam “Prime Evil” het ek nog nooit gehad nie! Ek was nooit so bekend onder my eie lede of kollegas nie. Ook nie onder die gewapende magte of die publiek nie.

Dis ’n naam wat ú my gegee het. En u het dit klaarblyklik gekry by ’n goeie vriend van u wat toe al ernstige probleme gehad het met sy “crack”-kokaïen-deurweekte brein.

U is reg. Japie Maponya is dood. En hy ís vermoor. Ek het Japie Maponya nie met ’n graaf doodgeslaan nie! Ek het die familie by die hof gesien ten tye van hul getuienis én vir ’n geruime tyd by die Waarheid-en-versoeningskommissie (WVK) waar dié geval stap vir stap, oomblik vir oomblik, uitgepluis is.

Ek het begrip daarvoor dat die Maponya-familie nie tevrede gaan wees of ooit sál wees nie. Geen familie kan ooit weer vrede of gemoedsrus hê ná so ’n voorval nie.

Japie Maponya is deur sers. Willem Albertus Nortjé doodgeskiet. Hy het ’n 9mm-Parabellum-Berreta-pistool styf teen sy linkerslaap gedruk en die sneller getrek. Die koeël én die aandryfmiddel se gasse (verbrande en onverbrande kruit), het deur sy brein getrek. Kant tot kant.

Dít, mnr. Pauw, is die feite. U het hierdie feite tot u beskikking gehad. U het die hofverhoor bygewoon en ook die WVK. U het ook, volgens my inligting, al my lêers [oorspronklikes] én die oorspronklike hofdossiere ontvang.

Sers. Nortjé se beloning vir hierdie moorddaad was sy bevordering tot direkteur (gelykstaande aan die rang van brigadier) in die nasionale intelligensiediens van die huidige regeringsbestel.

Die Maponyas het niks!

Met salaris, subsidies en byvoordele word dir. Nortjé met ongeveer een miljoen rand per jaar vergoed.

Dit gaan goed met die Nortjés!

Nortjé en sy kollega, ******** was in Jozini, Noord-Natal, werksaam. Ek het hulle soontoe gestuur sodat ons kon begin voorberei vir plattelandse oorlogvoering, in besonder berg-oorlogvoering.

Ek self het teen die Botswana-grens begin werk. Met dáárdie ontplooiing was daar ’n geheul tussen kapt. *** **van seksie C.2 Hoofkantoor, verantwoordelik vir die identifisering, ondervraging en werwing van terroriste, en kapt. ******van Krugersdorp se veiligheidspolisie.

Sonder my medewete of toestemming het kapt. *****my werkspan van Jozini na Krugersdorp herontplooi. Ek word nie ingelig nie.

Kapt. ***** was soms voorsitter van Trewits, die Teen-revolusionêre Inligting-teikensentrum. Dít het bestaan uit lede van die veiligheidspolisie, asook militêre en nasionale intelligensie.

Dit was die eerste van drie vlakke waar besluit is wie word doodgeskiet, ontvoer of wie bly leef. En selde, indien ooit, is hierdie komitee se aanbevelings afgekeur.

Die volgende twee vlakke was die KIK (Koördinerende Inligtingskomitee) en dan die staatsveiligheidsraad. Ná goedkeuring van so ’n optrede of operasie, word besluit aan watter groep of eenheid die taak opgedra sal word. Kapt. ***** word goed beloon vir sy dienste en word as ’n generaal aangestel in die nuwe bestel. Sy voordele oortref dié van ******.

Dit gaan goed met die ******!

Seksie C.1, waarvan ek bevelvoerder was, was gemoeid met teen-terrorisme; die skerp, onaangename, vuil en gevaarlike kant van operasies en was ook getaak met oorgrens-operasies.

Dié groepe het onder bevel gewerk van die bevelvoerder van die veiligheidstak van enige streek en slegs dié se take uitgevoer. Die enkele blankes by elke swart groep het as skakel-personeel opgetree tussen die veiligheidstaklede en die streeksbevelvoerder.

Hulle het hul opdragte van die streeks­bevel­voerder gekry of offisier wat deur hom aangewys is, en slegs leiding geneem in gevegte tussen terroriste en die veiligheidspolisie.

Dit gaan goed met die *****!

Dit was vir doodsekerte

De Kock het in Julie 1999 tydens sy amnestie-aansoek voor die WVK getuig dat hy Japie Maponya twee keer met ’n graaf oor die kop geslaan het nadat Willie Nortjé hom geskiet het. “Dit was standaardpraktyk om seker te maak mense was dood nadat hulle geskiet is,” het De Kock gesê.

Volgens Jacques Pauw het die veroordeelde polisie-moordenaar Ferdi Barnard die naam “Prime Evil” aan De Kock gegee. “Barnard het self daarvan vertel in die dokumentêr Prime Evil wat ek in 1996 gemaak het,” sê Pauw.

Nkosikasi's Keys

One of my earliest memories from school was a poem that Mrs Smit gave us to learn.  For an 8 year old, it was certainly a very daunting task to be able to recite the poem without prompting or looking at the words.  The poem has stuck in my head for 50 years because it so closely resembled the going’s on in my own home.  My mother had a bunch of keys.  From the pantry to the bedroom, all cupboards and doors that held anything of value was locked up, including the things that we used daily, such as sugar and toilet paper.   My mother would lose her keys, time and time again, and the question asked was “Has anyone seen my keys?”  
I do not know whether every school child at that time learned this poem, but I do know that every child brought up in the Transkei 50 – 60 years ago will remember it.    I am sure that today this poem would be seen as being politically incorrect – those were the days when we did not have to think of synonyms to use in case we might cause offence to another.
 The house is in confusion, the boys run to and fro,
There's rummaging in cupboards and there's hunting high and low;
And what is the excitement and hurry if you please?
The answer is "They're looking for Nkosikasi's Keys."
"Wherever have they got to?" she says with wrinkled brow.
" I left them on the table and they've simply vanished now."
So cook must leave his baking and the houseboy's on his knees,
A-searching under things to find Nkosikasi's Keys.
She says she can't explain it, just how they disappear;
Perhaps when she went visiting she may have left them there;
So hurry, send the picannin at once to Mrs. B's
To ask if she has chanced to find Nkosikasi's Keys.
N'kos comes in and mutters "What, lost your keys once more|!"
"Where do you think you put them?" and "Are they in the store?"
Advice is all he offers and helpful words like these,
"Why ever do you want to go and lose the cussed keys?"
N'kosikas is crying, she doesn't like to tell,
But now she feels quite certain that she dropped them down the well;
And all the while the broody is sitting at her ease
On thirteen tiny chickens and Nkosikasi's keys!
By Hylda Richards

Some memories are worth remembering for a lifetime.  Every time my mother asked where her keys were, I would start reciting it until she was driven crazy and would take a swipe at me with the kitchen cloth.