Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

ANC is Right to Fear the Minority

South Africa is the only country in the world where affirmative action is in the favour of the majority who has complete political control.  The fact that the political majority requires AA to protect them against a 9% minority group is testament to a complete failure on their part to build their own wealth making structures, such that their only solution is to take it from others.  This is not my exact words, but taken from a UK newspaper.  It is however, my exact sentiments.  The only reason why this is still in place is because of fear.  The racism is because of fear.  The threat to take the land we own is because of fear.   The state sponsored race hate is because of fear.   The underlying anger and hatred we see in the eyes when we have to deal with government departments is because of fear.
That a government fears only 9% of the population shows a great deal about the strength of the minority that we once had.   But, beware Mr Zuma – you will push us so far and no further.  You will then have something real to fear. 

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

EUGENE DE KOCK - PART 7

EdK visitng his brother and family for the first time after parole
First let me tell you why we have not heard from Eugene.  He has been guarded with four guards 24/7 and has been unable to do his own thing; hence his two hour incarceration in prison the other week.   He was trying to get himself out of this “witness protection” process and actually be as free as he can be, given his parole restrictions.  This time, JK came to the rescue.  I do not know if JK was paid or not.
The real reason Eugene has not contacted us, even those who he are closest to, is two-fold.  First there was his 24/7guards and then there is his idea that if he makes contact with us, it will make life difficult for us and he is trying to protect us.  Well, bless his heart, but I don’t need protection.
The more time that went past, the more crap that I was getting from JK regarding Eugene (because he said a lot of words that meant nothing), the more frustrated I became.  Then a few of us pulled together to free Eugene ourselves.  The integrity of these few people who were prepared to put their lives on the line to free him speaks volumes.  We knew the difficulty, we knew the layout, we knew the problems we would encounter and we knew the punishment or otherwise that we would be facing if the plan failed.  It is so sad that this part of the story never got to reach the ears of even Ben – there are people out there that were prepared to bring Eugene out of prison and hide him for an indefinite period of time.  That I call determination and dedication to make sure that one of our soldiers were not  left behind.
A lot of energy and organising went into that.  The only thing I told Ben was that “I think we should go in and take him out ourselves”   He nearly had a heart attack on the spot.  “Don’t even think about it MC” he said – giving me the same story of how close we were to his parole.  I, of course, was happy to run with it, but only until a certain date.  If the judge did not grant him his parole, we were going to take him out ourselves.  It was a decision that had already been  taken.  Every single thing that I had tried had not worked, so the final deadline was the judgement of the judge at his final parole hearing. 
For those who do not remember, there were many parole hearings and the reasons that they were denied were varied, but the one just before the last one is what sent our blood pressure soaring.   The reason given was that he had not spoken to all his victims.  That was a blatant lie.  The fact that the Correctional Services had not made adequate note of his dealings with his victims was a disgrace.  For me personally, I felt that they were using Eugene as a scapegoat for everything bad in a white man while Mandela was being paraded around as everything good in a black man.  To think that the highest decorated policeman ever in South Africa, Eugene, was languishing in a prison for no other reason than political and racist reasons was abhorrent to me.  Our plan to hijack and hide Eugene was fool proof – no one would ever have found him.   In retrospect, I am sorry we did not go through with our plan.  The prison conditions were appalling.  He was often ill with flu or bronchitis and his eyes were a constant source of concern.   Giving what went down from before the final announcement by the judge on his parole, I truly am sorry we did not take him out ourselves.  At least then we could have nurtured him and given him space and time to heal without guards, TM and PP hanging around.
JK was still calling me and asking me for money to pay the outstanding bill. And because I was pretending to be doff, I asked him to email me the statement and I would discuss it with our committee to see if we had enough to pay him.   He was evading the actual amount, but the following emails are the kinds of emails I was getting; trying to show me that huge amounts of money were outstanding.   I also found his approach to the parole conditions completely wrong – I made it my business to know the law on prisoners and parole so it did give me some right (although I only voiced this to Ben) to say that I believed he was fucking Eugene’s chances up.
I include some self-explanatory emails that were being used to keep me guessing while they kept on asking for money:

Julian Knight 
21 April 2015 at 13:57
To: dianne.lang1@gmail.com
Hi Dianne

Please see the email that I sent  to Piet Croucamp. I was under the
impression that he was handling the money situation.

I doubt whether there is sufficient money to cover the total bill but what I
suggested was that we see how much has been collected and then negotiate
with counsel regarding his fee.

As for the last weeks work Gene had R10 000.00 paid in .R1000.00 went the
sheriff for urgent service and copies.

Counsel and I spent 2 full days in court. This excludes the drafting the day
before.

We are meeting with Gene tomorrow .I however don't know what is going on and
still have not received his parole conditions.

In short I don't know what to say about getting Gene out and what we will
still need to do.I am enclosing for your information a copy of the
Application.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards

Julian


Julian Knights and Associates Inc
Reg No. 97/020154/21
129 Murray St Brooklyn
Pretoria
0181
Telephone
+27 12 3463853
+27 12 3461463
Fax 0866166498
Mobile 0824409037

(Honestly, what the fuck did TM have to do with anything.  TM made the media portray him as being the only person who had visited and stuck by him for 20 years.  What crap.  TM only came into the fray four or so years after I started the group.  And of course, he brought PP in towards the end)

-----Original Message-----
From: Julian Knight [mailto:knights@mweb.co.za]
Sent: 13 February 2015 03:45 PM
To: Croucamp, Piet
Subject: Emailing: _150206131643


Dear Piet,

Advocate Roelof Du Plessis contacted me to ask what the situation was with
regard to the payment of his account or a portion thereof is.

Can you please let me know what the situation is regarding this  .

Best regards

Julian

We are building up to a crisis – in fact, more than one, but I will share that with you in another part.

EUGENE DE KOCK - PART 7

EdK visitng his brother and family for the first time after parole
First let me tell you why we have not heard from Eugene.  He has been guarded with four guards 24/7 and has been unable to do his own thing; hence his two hour incarceration in prison the other week.   He was trying to get himself out of this “witness protection” process and actually be as free as he can be, given his parole restrictions.  This time, JK came to the rescue.  I do not know if JK was paid or not.
The real reason Eugene has not contacted us, even those who he are closest to, is two-fold.  First there was his 24/7guards and then there is his idea that if he makes contact with us, it will make life difficult for us and he is trying to protect us.  Well, bless his heart, but I don’t need protection.
The more time that went past, the more crap that I was getting from JK regarding Eugene (because he said a lot of words that meant nothing), the more frustrated I became.  Then a few of us pulled together to free Eugene ourselves.  The integrity of these few people who were prepared to put their lives on the line to free him speaks volumes.  We knew the difficulty, we knew the layout, we knew the problems we would encounter and we knew the punishment or otherwise that we would be facing if the plan failed.  It is so sad that this part of the story never got to reach the ears of even Ben – there are people out there that were prepared to bring Eugene out of prison and hide him for an indefinite period of time.  That I call determination and dedication to make sure that one of our soldiers were not  left behind.
A lot of energy and organising went into that.  The only thing I told Ben was that “I think we should go in and take him out ourselves”   He nearly had a heart attack on the spot.  “Don’t even think about it MC” he said – giving me the same story of how close we were to his parole.  I, of course, was happy to run with it, but only until a certain date.  If the judge did not grant him his parole, we were going to take him out ourselves.  It was a decision that had already been  taken.  Every single thing that I had tried had not worked, so the final deadline was the judgement of the judge at his final parole hearing. 
For those who do not remember, there were many parole hearings and the reasons that they were denied were varied, but the one just before the last one is what sent our blood pressure soaring.   The reason given was that he had not spoken to all his victims.  That was a blatant lie.  The fact that the Correctional Services had not made adequate note of his dealings with his victims was a disgrace.  For me personally, I felt that they were using Eugene as a scapegoat for everything bad in a white man while Mandela was being paraded around as everything good in a black man.  To think that the highest decorated policeman ever in South Africa, Eugene, was languishing in a prison for no other reason than political and racist reasons was abhorrent to me.  Our plan to hijack and hide Eugene was fool proof – no one would ever have found him.   In retrospect, I am sorry we did not go through with our plan.  The prison conditions were appalling.  He was often ill with flu or bronchitis and his eyes were a constant source of concern.   Giving what went down from before the final announcement by the judge on his parole, I truly am sorry we did not take him out ourselves.  At least then we could have nurtured him and given him space and time to heal without guards, TM and PP hanging around.
JK was still calling me and asking me for money to pay the outstanding bill. And because I was pretending to be doff, I asked him to email me the statement and I would discuss it with our committee to see if we had enough to pay him.   He was evading the actual amount, but the following emails are the kinds of emails I was getting; trying to show me that huge amounts of money were outstanding.   I also found his approach to the parole conditions completely wrong – I made it my business to know the law on prisoners and parole so it did give me some right (although I only voiced this to Ben) to say that I believed he was fucking Eugene’s chances up.
I include some self-explanatory emails that were being used to keep me guessing while they kept on asking for money:

Julian Knight 
21 April 2015 at 13:57
To: dianne.lang1@gmail.com
Hi Dianne

Please see the email that I sent  to Piet Croucamp. I was under the
impression that he was handling the money situation.

I doubt whether there is sufficient money to cover the total bill but what I
suggested was that we see how much has been collected and then negotiate
with counsel regarding his fee.

As for the last weeks work Gene had R10 000.00 paid in .R1000.00 went the
sheriff for urgent service and copies.

Counsel and I spent 2 full days in court. This excludes the drafting the day
before.

We are meeting with Gene tomorrow .I however don't know what is going on and
still have not received his parole conditions.

In short I don't know what to say about getting Gene out and what we will
still need to do.I am enclosing for your information a copy of the
Application.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards

Julian


Julian Knights and Associates Inc
Reg No. 97/020154/21
129 Murray St Brooklyn
Pretoria
0181
Telephone
+27 12 3463853
+27 12 3461463
Fax 0866166498
Mobile 0824409037

(Honestly, what the fuck did TM have to do with anything.  TM made the media portray him as being the only person who had visited and stuck by him for 20 years.  What crap.  TM only came into the fray four or so years after I started the group.  And of course, he brought PP in towards the end)

-----Original Message-----
From: Julian Knight [mailto:knights@mweb.co.za]
Sent: 13 February 2015 03:45 PM
To: Croucamp, Piet
Subject: Emailing: _150206131643


Dear Piet,

Advocate Roelof Du Plessis contacted me to ask what the situation was with
regard to the payment of his account or a portion thereof is.

Can you please let me know what the situation is regarding this  .

Best regards

Julian

We are building up to a crisis – in fact, more than one, but I will share that with you in another part.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Forgiveness, me and Eugene de Kock

Every activity first starts with a thought. This blog started with a thought that was provoked by a few comments about forgiveness on the Free Eugene de Kock Group on Facebook. 

I have struggled with the concept of forgiveness for years. From philosophers to psychologists, from religious leaders to scientists … I have spoken to them all and discussed the concept of forgiving and forgetting and moving on from the past. 

I adamantly believed that it was impossible to forgive without the abuser apologising for his or her behaviour. How can you forgive someone for doing a bad deed to you if they think they were justified in what they did? That was my dilemma. And I fought all these people about it. I just would not listen to their reasoning. I suppose, it is a case of “Die wat wil nie hoor nie, moet voel”. I ’voeled’ and I learned. 

Of course, I always knew that we cannot forget the hurts done to us, no matter how saintly we are, no matter how many times we turn the other cheek, no matter how forgiving we are … only a fool will forget what has hurt him. Surely you will not pet the dog that bit you a second and a third time, just to be bitten again. Surely you would remember not to go near him again? 

Now that I have spent the good part of 30 years thinking about forgiveness, I change my mind about the concept. While I thought that forgiveness could only happen when the trespasser asked forgiveness, I now know differently. I have learned this through having to deal with the issue of forgiving others, over and over again, ’voeling’ the lesson time and time again. 

I have learned that it is possible to forgive another even if they continue to believe that their behaviour was right and justified. 

Without going into personal details, this is how I have learned to forgive. Forgiving someone else is very difficult, especially if you have been deeply betrayed, abandoned and hurt (and no, I am not talking just about a partner doing this to you). We find that we are shocked by the other person’s or people’s behaviour because you think to yourself, “How could you do that to me? I would never do that to you”. Most of us live by the rule of ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’. So we are shocked when someone treats us badly. And that shock forms part of the negative emotion that you carry with you … part of the anger at the person/people who have wronged or betrayed you. 

I have learned that a negative emotion is far stronger than a positive one. A negative emotion about a person ties you to that person more strongly than love. Far better to have no feeling at all about a person than to have a negative emotion. Having no emotional attachment to someone frees you of that person. 

If we feel nothing, that person has absolutely no power over us. But if we carry negative emotions, then we lose our power and give it all away to the one who hurt us. 

The resentment that we hold over another binds us to them with ties far stronger than steel ropes. Not only are we caught in the web of negativity but the other person is free! They will most likely not even realize what they have done and if they do, they will find ways of justifying their bad behaviour towards us. So, while we feel resentful, angry and hurt, we are the only ones who are being affected, because the abuser/trespasser is not affected at all. He has moved on with his life and we are stuck to him in the past. 

Whether the situation happened 6 years ago or 6 million years ago, or six months ago, that event is no further away from you today, than yesterday. We live our emotions in the moment. That includes all the accumulated hurt and anger from long ago. We remain prisoners of the very people who have hurt us because we can’t let go of the negative emotion. 

Forgiveness has never been about the other person or persons. It has been all about me. I am the one who is freed by forgiving those people. 

The fastest way I have found to forgive someone is to realize that they do not know that they are doing wrong, (they know not what they do). If someone does not know that they are doing something wrong, then how can we be angry with them. They are merely fools. And since we are all at different levels of spiritual awareness, we need to see that others are behind us and there will always be others that are ahead of us. So why be bogged down by those people who are not as spiritually advanced as you? My grandmother used to tell never to lower myself to someone else’s level, but to lift them up to mine. That is kind of what this is about … looking at those who are spiritually more advanced than us and trying to emulate them and not lowering ourselves to the level of revenge, anger, resentment, bitterness, and negativity. 

Now I know this is frivolous, but this helps me to move past hurtful people. I have a few sayings that I repeat quietly to myself when confronted with a fool who knows no better. These are a few of them: 

You can expect nothing from a pig but a grunt.

A baboon cannot see it’s own backside.

If you mix with dogs you will pick up fleas.

Your spirit will soar like an eagle only if you don’t try to fly with turkeys. 

You are a prisoner when you do not forgive. You are locked by the chains of the past. Forgiveness is the most important gift you can give yourself. Forgiveness dissolves the links of the chain that bind you and sets you free. There is no future in the past. 

Forgiveness is a creative act. It changes us. It is a commitment to a process of change and growth for ourselves. To have the courage to forgive (for it takes courage) is to expand your life, to open it up to endless possibilities which are only possible if you are freed from the past. Ghandi said that “the weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attitude of the strong.” 

Forgiveness is the recognition of the humanness in your enemy, even while understanding that we may be poles apart on a spiritual and emotional level. 

No walls can imprison a spirit - our bodies can be imprisoned in jails, or imprisoned by ill health, but our spirits can soar on the wings of freedom. Forgiveness is the single most important process that brings peace and harmony to your own heart and soul. It forces you to grow beyond that which you were. 

I am free at last. I am free of my past because I have forgiven them all. My enemies have no power over me. 

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Forgiveness, me and Eugene de Kock

Every activity first starts with a thought. This blog started with a thought that was provoked by a few comments about forgiveness on the Free Eugene de Kock Group on Facebook. 

I have struggled with the concept of forgiveness for years. From philosophers to psychologists, from religious leaders to scientists … I have spoken to them all and discussed the concept of forgiving and forgetting and moving on from the past. 

I adamantly believed that it was impossible to forgive without the abuser apologising for his or her behaviour. How can you forgive someone for doing a bad deed to you if they think they were justified in what they did? That was my dilemma. And I fought all these people about it. I just would not listen to their reasoning. I suppose, it is a case of “Die wat wil nie hoor nie, moet voel”. I ’voeled’ and I learned. 

Of course, I always knew that we cannot forget the hurts done to us, no matter how saintly we are, no matter how many times we turn the other cheek, no matter how forgiving we are … only a fool will forget what has hurt him. Surely you will not pet the dog that bit you a second and a third time, just to be bitten again. Surely you would remember not to go near him again? 

Now that I have spent the good part of 30 years thinking about forgiveness, I change my mind about the concept. While I thought that forgiveness could only happen when the trespasser asked forgiveness, I now know differently. I have learned this through having to deal with the issue of forgiving others, over and over again, ’voeling’ the lesson time and time again. 

I have learned that it is possible to forgive another even if they continue to believe that their behaviour was right and justified. 

Without going into personal details, this is how I have learned to forgive. Forgiving someone else is very difficult, especially if you have been deeply betrayed, abandoned and hurt (and no, I am not talking just about a partner doing this to you). We find that we are shocked by the other person’s or people’s behaviour because you think to yourself, “How could you do that to me? I would never do that to you”. Most of us live by the rule of ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’. So we are shocked when someone treats us badly. And that shock forms part of the negative emotion that you carry with you … part of the anger at the person/people who have wronged or betrayed you. 

I have learned that a negative emotion is far stronger than a positive one. A negative emotion about a person ties you to that person more strongly than love. Far better to have no feeling at all about a person than to have a negative emotion. Having no emotional attachment to someone frees you of that person. 

If we feel nothing, that person has absolutely no power over us. But if we carry negative emotions, then we lose our power and give it all away to the one who hurt us. 

The resentment that we hold over another binds us to them with ties far stronger than steel ropes. Not only are we caught in the web of negativity but the other person is free! They will most likely not even realize what they have done and if they do, they will find ways of justifying their bad behaviour towards us. So, while we feel resentful, angry and hurt, we are the only ones who are being affected, because the abuser/trespasser is not affected at all. He has moved on with his life and we are stuck to him in the past. 

Whether the situation happened 6 years ago or 6 million years ago, or six months ago, that event is no further away from you today, than yesterday. We live our emotions in the moment. That includes all the accumulated hurt and anger from long ago. We remain prisoners of the very people who have hurt us because we can’t let go of the negative emotion. 

Forgiveness has never been about the other person or persons. It has been all about me. I am the one who is freed by forgiving those people. 

The fastest way I have found to forgive someone is to realize that they do not know that they are doing wrong, (they know not what they do). If someone does not know that they are doing something wrong, then how can we be angry with them. They are merely fools. And since we are all at different levels of spiritual awareness, we need to see that others are behind us and there will always be others that are ahead of us. So why be bogged down by those people who are not as spiritually advanced as you? My grandmother used to tell never to lower myself to someone else’s level, but to lift them up to mine. That is kind of what this is about … looking at those who are spiritually more advanced than us and trying to emulate them and not lowering ourselves to the level of revenge, anger, resentment, bitterness, and negativity. 

Now I know this is frivolous, but this helps me to move past hurtful people. I have a few sayings that I repeat quietly to myself when confronted with a fool who knows no better. These are a few of them: 

You can expect nothing from a pig but a grunt.

A baboon cannot see it’s own backside.

If you mix with dogs you will pick up fleas.

Your spirit will soar like an eagle only if you don’t try to fly with turkeys. 

You are a prisoner when you do not forgive. You are locked by the chains of the past. Forgiveness is the most important gift you can give yourself. Forgiveness dissolves the links of the chain that bind you and sets you free. There is no future in the past. 

Forgiveness is a creative act. It changes us. It is a commitment to a process of change and growth for ourselves. To have the courage to forgive (for it takes courage) is to expand your life, to open it up to endless possibilities which are only possible if you are freed from the past. Ghandi said that “the weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attitude of the strong.” 

Forgiveness is the recognition of the humanness in your enemy, even while understanding that we may be poles apart on a spiritual and emotional level. 

No walls can imprison a spirit - our bodies can be imprisoned in jails, or imprisoned by ill health, but our spirits can soar on the wings of freedom. Forgiveness is the single most important process that brings peace and harmony to your own heart and soul. It forces you to grow beyond that which you were. 

I am free at last. I am free of my past because I have forgiven them all. My enemies have no power over me.