Showing posts with label freedom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label freedom. Show all posts

Thursday, June 29, 2017

The Truth Teller - The Impimpi...Why Now?

The year I got sick 
It has taken years of chronically and often life-threatening illnesses to strip away slowly at everything that I held dear in my life.  And suddenly I was facing an adjustment disorder.  I have my own psychology degrees, so it has been a case of healer, heal thyself.

Apart from ill-health, there has been enormous financial strain with added expenses which have made us fly kites under a carpet.   It is not easy to start a new life at the age of 61 for my husband, starting from scratch in a country he had not lived in for over 20 years.  

With what I thought was an amazing opportunity, I got an online computer job writing web content for the SEO of a pharmaceutical company – yes, writing about Viagra and all the generics for erectile dysfunction.  No one else wanted the job, so I took it.  I know one hell of a lot about impotency and soft and flaccid penises now.  The remuneration was wonderful and for a month, we were starting to float.  The following month, the person in charge dropped the ball and all the writers were fired, without pay and with immediate effect.  After chasing the story down it was found that the pharmaceutical house was nothing but an online drug dealer.  So that went out the door.  Back to flying those kites under the carpet.

Then I got very sick. I was drowning in my own fluid.  Discovery are amazing – they have come to the party and I am being home nursed with drips and all the paraphernalia I need.   While I have been lying here, writing and thinking and pondering and reflecting over the last three weeks, I have had to take a good long hard look at what I want from life.  Being one in ten million people with this disease does not make me special – it makes me a problem.

The crying and the grieving has been done.  It is time to dry the tears and get on with the business of living.  My spirit does not belong in this body. I am like the old lady struggling to move down the street, but her shadow is a young girl dancing with abandon.

I made the decision to share my life, every bit of it - the nice, the good, the ugly, the bad, the not too bad and the not too nice; leaving nothing out…telling the truth 100% of the time.
There are many reasons for my decisions. Some are:
  • Giving the abused child of my heart a voice 
  • Allowing my soul to soar with freedom
  • Making myself transparent
  • To be truly authentic I must be brutally truthful about everything that has been, is and will be in my life 
  • To allow those who have been damaged by part of my own past to come to terms with their healing as well 
  • To show that child abuse affects a person their whole lives but that there is a way to become a survivor
  • To become a ferocious activist for prisoners - particularly for those who are incarcerated for crimes they did not commit
  • To inspire, help, encourage and provide my own brand of quotes for people to use to reflect on their own lives and to just have a good laugh
  • To do what I love and love what I do and that is to write – so the books will come, the blogs will come and … we shall see what the good Lord Himself has in store for me.

There will be those who will not like what I write, but that is their business and not mine.  They do not have a gun pointed at their heads forcing them to read what I write.   But I do know now that there will always be thousands more people who will appreciate truth rather than the bullshit that is spoken so often

I want my life to have meaning and I want to leave a legacy with my stories for my grandchildren to know who I was one day.  What better way than to tell my own truthful stories. 
I am now a freedom writer!  And probably an impimpi as well!

Monday, January 9, 2017

Remove that log first...

 Just as my sole is the underneath of my foot, so too is my soul something that belongs to me and no one else.
Why are so many people (on FB and outside of FB) concerned about saving my soul? Why are they so worried about my spiritual acceptance of what they believe?   Are they sprouting stuff out their holy book because they are not too sure that they are correct or not?  I have no need to discuss my spirituality with anyone else because I am safe and comfortable in my own.  I would never dare to assume that my way is the only way. 
As I have said numerous times before on social media and directly to people; if you want to teach me something about your God, then show me by your example.


Do not talk to me about it for it is the same as giving a starving man a Bible. He cannot hear, he cannot read and he cannot eat the Book. Until his hunger for food for survival is satisfied, no amount of preaching is going to fill his belly.   YOU have to fill his belly first before you start preaching. That is how people learn…by your example and NOT by your words.
I hereby give you back your own Word - remove the log from your own eye before....you know the rest.

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Eugene de Kock's parole - and the FB fallout!



 The fall out from the parole of Eugene de Kock has astounded me.  While thousands of people have rejoiced, there are those who have resorted to vile and hateful speech and threats.  As most of you know, I have championed the cause to see Eugene de Kock freed via social media only because it is the only thing that I can physically do.    I am overjoyed by his release.  However, the fight is far from over.  Parole is half free.  As Mandela himself said, there is no such thing as half-free.  You are either free or you are not.  And that is why he was given an unconditional release.   Since we do not yet know of the conditions of the parole, we must carry the torch to get a Presidential Pardon for Eugene.   Hopefully, he has been unconditionally released, in which case, our job is truly done.  If not, we will continue to lobby for a pardon for him.  

 While I am happy to answer inbox messages to the hundreds of people who inbox me about important things, I will NOT respond to inbox messages that contain nasty, untrue bullshit.  Why don't you call the President with your problems?  Don't make me the scapegoat for all your hateful racism or attempt to make me apologise for being white.  

 These white people that walk around being ashamed of being white, hanging their heads in shame about things that they had no power over, things that were done by their grandparents (well those in government), or asking forgiveness for their ancestors coming to this land, apologising profusely for apartheid as though they brought it into being (for those who do not know - apartheid was just an adaptation of the British colour bar laws) and who believe that they are inferior and that they must beg to live in the country of their birth ... go read Steve Biko's philosophy and put yourself into those shoes.  You will see that you are doing no one any favours by your pathetic, apologetic stance.  There is no greater weapon in an oppressors hand than the mind of an oppressed people.  You white apologetists (don't even know if that is a word) are oppressed in your own minds.  It is time that you caught a wake up, and started walking with your head held high.   Start taking responsibility for shaping and making our country work for all of us.   No one is going to respect you while you hang your head in shame. 

 You are not white, you are not black, YOU ARE A SOUTH AFRICAN.   Behave like one please.   We are one family.  We are one another's keeper.  

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

The wings of a prayer for Eugene de Kock

Eugene de Kock 
Three nights and three days to go until the final decision regarding Eugene's parole!  

It has been a long struggle, with excitement interspersed with great disappointment, with emotions raging within our souls from anger to compassion, from impatience to feelings of hopelessness, but always we have stood up one more time than we fell down.  
This has been the longest and most emotionally challenging cause I have taken on in my life.  I started out on this journey alone, because I could not find a single person who would run with such an unpopular subject.  

I now find myself amongst the most compassionate group of people on earth.   I find myself witnessing a miracle, being in a group that has not been equalled in terms of being apolitical and non-racist - a group that is so diverse and yet stands together with a single voice and one single goal; to free Eugene de Kock.  If it were not for Eugene, I would not have experienced being part of this miracle.  

My wish for Eugene is that he experiences freedom in all its forms, and that he has enough of everything he needs when he comes out.  May his life be filled with enough love, laughter, food, shelter, human companionship, sunshine, nature and, may he learn to trust again.   I would like to take this opportunity to thank Eugene for his life, for the sacrifices he made to ensure our safety during those years.  I want to thank him for his integrity, for telling the truth and for showing us the characteristics of a real warrior and a true gentleman.   And finally, I want to thank him for his life ... it is his life that gave me my passion back when I got sick.  It is his life that gave my life purpose.  It is his life that has made me fight as hard as I have for mine.  

The final answer to Eugene’s freedom will be given by the Minister of Justice at 09h30 on Friday 20th January 2015.  While we all live with cautious optimism that his answer will be the right one, there is still many a slip between the cup and the lip
. 
If the answer is NO, I will continue to fight.  But if the answer is YES, then my job is done.  A good leader knows when to step down.  I hope that I have been a good leader.  It will be time for someone else to pick up the baton and run with it for a Presidential Pardon.  I will continue to do what I can to make the pardon a reality, but some new blood, someone with more energy, someone who is not restricted by illness and who can travel and do what is needed, needs to take the lead.

Eugene, may your life continue to inspire.  As one of the many supporters of your freedom, Sydney Mhlongo told me, “A free de Kock may become the greatest ambassador of peace across the world, teaching people about hatred and how dangerous it is. This is the man who went through it all. Jail will never give him an opportunity to change a world suffering from racism.  Free him to teach us to free ourselves from racism”.  


May your life be forever blessed, Eugene.  My gratitude and love always, Dianne 

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Is this Freedom?

Life in South Africa - picture by Dianne Lang

We thought that democracy and the freedom to integrate would be the solution to all our problems in this country.  

The only thing that changed with integration is that the newly mobile middle class has fled the townships while some previously privileged people have moved into the townships.   



Others, who could afford it or had the necessary ancestry, went abroad to find a new life, just as the settlers did when they came to SA, taking with them their skills that we so desperately need.    

The angry, frustrated cries of the people in the townships know they have been shunned and abandoned by the larger society who doesn’t seem to care.  But what is even more painful, is that they have been abandoned by their own people too. 

How can any single culture hold their cultural roots together when they are integrated by virtue of their poverty alone?   We are now divided by the amount of money we have. Who gives a damn about culture when the children cry, your belly aches with hunger, and you have to borrow money to bury the dead?   Is this freedom?

Monday, May 5, 2014

Forgiveness, me and Eugene de Kock

Every activity first starts with a thought. This blog started with a thought that was provoked by a few comments about forgiveness on the Free Eugene de Kock Group on Facebook. 

I have struggled with the concept of forgiveness for years. From philosophers to psychologists, from religious leaders to scientists … I have spoken to them all and discussed the concept of forgiving and forgetting and moving on from the past. 

I adamantly believed that it was impossible to forgive without the abuser apologising for his or her behaviour. How can you forgive someone for doing a bad deed to you if they think they were justified in what they did? That was my dilemma. And I fought all these people about it. I just would not listen to their reasoning. I suppose, it is a case of “Die wat wil nie hoor nie, moet voel”. I ’voeled’ and I learned. 

Of course, I always knew that we cannot forget the hurts done to us, no matter how saintly we are, no matter how many times we turn the other cheek, no matter how forgiving we are … only a fool will forget what has hurt him. Surely you will not pet the dog that bit you a second and a third time, just to be bitten again. Surely you would remember not to go near him again? 

Now that I have spent the good part of 30 years thinking about forgiveness, I change my mind about the concept. While I thought that forgiveness could only happen when the trespasser asked forgiveness, I now know differently. I have learned this through having to deal with the issue of forgiving others, over and over again, ’voeling’ the lesson time and time again. 

I have learned that it is possible to forgive another even if they continue to believe that their behaviour was right and justified. 

Without going into personal details, this is how I have learned to forgive. Forgiving someone else is very difficult, especially if you have been deeply betrayed, abandoned and hurt (and no, I am not talking just about a partner doing this to you). We find that we are shocked by the other person’s or people’s behaviour because you think to yourself, “How could you do that to me? I would never do that to you”. Most of us live by the rule of ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’. So we are shocked when someone treats us badly. And that shock forms part of the negative emotion that you carry with you … part of the anger at the person/people who have wronged or betrayed you. 

I have learned that a negative emotion is far stronger than a positive one. A negative emotion about a person ties you to that person more strongly than love. Far better to have no feeling at all about a person than to have a negative emotion. Having no emotional attachment to someone frees you of that person. 

If we feel nothing, that person has absolutely no power over us. But if we carry negative emotions, then we lose our power and give it all away to the one who hurt us. 

The resentment that we hold over another binds us to them with ties far stronger than steel ropes. Not only are we caught in the web of negativity but the other person is free! They will most likely not even realize what they have done and if they do, they will find ways of justifying their bad behaviour towards us. So, while we feel resentful, angry and hurt, we are the only ones who are being affected, because the abuser/trespasser is not affected at all. He has moved on with his life and we are stuck to him in the past. 

Whether the situation happened 6 years ago or 6 million years ago, or six months ago, that event is no further away from you today, than yesterday. We live our emotions in the moment. That includes all the accumulated hurt and anger from long ago. We remain prisoners of the very people who have hurt us because we can’t let go of the negative emotion. 

Forgiveness has never been about the other person or persons. It has been all about me. I am the one who is freed by forgiving those people. 

The fastest way I have found to forgive someone is to realize that they do not know that they are doing wrong, (they know not what they do). If someone does not know that they are doing something wrong, then how can we be angry with them. They are merely fools. And since we are all at different levels of spiritual awareness, we need to see that others are behind us and there will always be others that are ahead of us. So why be bogged down by those people who are not as spiritually advanced as you? My grandmother used to tell never to lower myself to someone else’s level, but to lift them up to mine. That is kind of what this is about … looking at those who are spiritually more advanced than us and trying to emulate them and not lowering ourselves to the level of revenge, anger, resentment, bitterness, and negativity. 

Now I know this is frivolous, but this helps me to move past hurtful people. I have a few sayings that I repeat quietly to myself when confronted with a fool who knows no better. These are a few of them: 

You can expect nothing from a pig but a grunt.

A baboon cannot see it’s own backside.

If you mix with dogs you will pick up fleas.

Your spirit will soar like an eagle only if you don’t try to fly with turkeys. 

You are a prisoner when you do not forgive. You are locked by the chains of the past. Forgiveness is the most important gift you can give yourself. Forgiveness dissolves the links of the chain that bind you and sets you free. There is no future in the past. 

Forgiveness is a creative act. It changes us. It is a commitment to a process of change and growth for ourselves. To have the courage to forgive (for it takes courage) is to expand your life, to open it up to endless possibilities which are only possible if you are freed from the past. Ghandi said that “the weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attitude of the strong.” 

Forgiveness is the recognition of the humanness in your enemy, even while understanding that we may be poles apart on a spiritual and emotional level. 

No walls can imprison a spirit - our bodies can be imprisoned in jails, or imprisoned by ill health, but our spirits can soar on the wings of freedom. Forgiveness is the single most important process that brings peace and harmony to your own heart and soul. It forces you to grow beyond that which you were. 

I am free at last. I am free of my past because I have forgiven them all. My enemies have no power over me. 

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Left Wing and Right Wing

Flying with both wings

Yesterday I was asked why an obviously left-wing person (me) me would stand up for the rights of a right-winger (Eugene de Kock).  My immediate response was “Well, does that not show compassion?”  Not another word was said in response.
I pondered on that question all day yesterday.   My answer was instinctive, with no thought.  I wondered why people would view me as being ultra-left when I have worked so hard on taking the middle road.   I also wondered exactly what a left-wing and a right-wing person is and eventually looked it up on Google.   Left-wing people are radical, reforming or part of a socialist section of a system or political party.  Right-wing people are conservative or the reactionary section of a political party or system.  This originated in the National Assembly in France (1789-91), where the Nobles sat on the right of the president and the Common people sat on the left.  

Now, I am no political analyst so I also had to look up what kinds of people fit into right-wing and left-wing groups.   Right-wing groups seem to be those who are fanatical about their conservatism and continually provoke reactions from other people by their radical statements and venomous attacks on anyone they emotionally assume is outside of their group.  Left-wing groups seem to be those who have views that support social change, can be equally radical and venomous in their attacks so that a more equal society (in their view) can come about. 
I also learned that many groups can fall under either the right or the left wing categories, depending on the stage a country is in at the time.   So one person who may have been classified as a right-winger a hundred years ago would now be classified as a left-winger.   

I have never been able to fit myself into any box, be it religion or politics, a world view or even a career.  I have always been on a path that is different to most people, so I am surprised that I am labelled and put into boxes by others.  The most common box that I have been put into by other people is the “crazy” box, but that one I don’t mind being in.  It then means that I can do as I please and people will say, “Oh, don’t worry, she is just crazy” and leave it at that.   Although…I do believe that there is not one sane person on this planet and that each of us has a little insanity about us.  It is what makes us different, what makes us individuals and what typifies us. Anyway, I don’t fit into the rightists or the leftists.   But because of that, I seem to be constantly challenged by others.  As Woodrow Wilson said, “If you want to make enemies, try to change something”.  I am always trying to change something in society.  Actually, I even change the furniture around to give me a different viewpoint of my own home!
So I come back to this left wing and this right wing thing.  A bird can’t fly without both wings, so I guess for the moment (until history changes life again), I prefer to soar with both wings.  A bird with only one wing will stay on the ground.  But a bird with two wings can soar like and eagle or administer the compassion of an angel.   Angels with broken wings or only one wing can do very little at all.  

I fly with a right and a left wing!!