Showing posts with label cancer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cancer. Show all posts

Thursday, October 31, 2019

STONED ...


The picture here was taken so that I could show the nurses what happens when they try to draw blood or put up a drip and they have to use the chemo-port. Just one of the many, many challenges I have when I go into hospital and do not behave or get blood results like other people.

Doctors recognise what they have been taught and only see what they recognise is what one professor told me and that is so true. When looking at blood results, for example, they will count the red blood cells and give you a number which will tell you whether you are positive or negative or whatever, But they don't bloody look to see if the cell actually is capable of doing the job!! On my full blood count my WBC is way up there .... could never get sick on it. However, on closer examination, it is found that that little B cell is a blasted cancer cell and the other is immature so can't stop the germ. There is a missing enzyme.

And then, of course, there are doctors that think horses when they hear hoofbeats and will never hear the hoofbeats of a zebra. I am a Zebra. After what I could seriously call a basic human rights violation by the medical aid, I have decided to do my own methods and use those of the medical fields that can help me and I have my own regime ... one of which is having one hundred percent uncut black raw cannabis oil full dosage 3 x a day. The one thing I have come to like is this feeling that everything is going to be OK. And I truly believe if I can get to Bloemfontein to Dr Frieda Pienaar, she will save my life.


While being stoned during this new regime may sound good and hilariously funny, it also allows for massive creativity. The things I can make in my head ... and the words I type for my book just flows ... just being calm and delayed. So you mooching along happily and then suddenly ....you feel like you are dying ... you are back in that horrible body that aches everywhere, where the slightest touch of a hand on my skin feels like sandpaper when every step screams pain in a vomit sounding screech where you struggle for air and when you just can't lift your own leg into bed ... Fuck it!!. From the heights of glory to the pits of hell.

Tuesday, October 29, 2019

Taking Control over my Health .. it's going to be a ride ....

Sooooo, as my day stretches in front of me, this totally stoned out my tree am waiting for Sammy M Bella coming this morning for my 3 x week detox, And this afternoon I have Alison and Lynn Erasmus Van Vuuren coming to do Acudetox on me (they stick those thin needles into you). Sammy M Bella is going to help me shower and change into fresh clothes. Patrick has already dosed me with the black stuff and I am starting to feel rather ... let us say ... delayed. I use half the anti-nausea tablets I was using and I have only been on this road since Friday .... Oh, and I'm juicing it too.
When doctors hear hoofbeats they only think of horses ... they have forgotten that zebras also have hooves.  I am a zebra and I will not be shut up by uncaring doctors or an unhelpful medical review team at Discovery.   I have the right to the best medical care with the best doctors for my rare case.  No one has the right to humiliate and embarrass me because their egos are so big that they can't handle the fact that I know more about medicine than suits them.  Pulling them down from the trees is not a good idea because they talk amongst themselves and you will never get an appointment with that specialist for the next year.   What are we to do?  Shut up and put up with their shit when our premiums at Discovery are so high?  Or do we educate the rarediseases department at Discovery although they are never available to talk to.   God, I am here and don't know what I was saying or thinking when I started this so once I am no longer stoned, I hope I remember to come and read what I wrote and if I wrote shit, I hope you will forgive me ... my excuse?   I am very very very sstttttooooned

Saturday, September 2, 2017

Article 4: Living With a Chronic Disease

It’s a lot harder to beat depression when you are clinically sick than when you’re not.
Doctors and physicians are very reluctant and loath to challenge one another’s diagnosis.  It is a dirty medical profession secret.  Everyone has a lot at stake.  The first opinion may be wrong and you die.  The second opinion may be a better option.  The physician has your LIFE in his hands – your LIFE and your SOUL and you deserve respect for that.  Doctors must start coming off their high horses and start becoming more truthful.  If they don’t know they don’t know.  We would respect them more.
Because most cancer and other debilitating diseases can be a very clear warning of death, we tend to filter out the information so that it confirms the belief you already have.  If you think you dying, you will filter out the high percentage that live.  We must listen more and be open and transparent.  We must learn to ask the right questions, even if you write them out at home before you get to the physician.
Doctors must empower patients – they must allow for patient participation instead of playing at being god and expecting us to swallow everything they say.  A participating patient will live longer.  I am so participating that I tell the doctors what is wrong and what to do now.  My life is important and I want to live it the best way I can.  I don’t care if the doctor does not like me – I will go to another one.
It takes one human being to make the difference between life and death.  Just one human being who cares.
Cancer patients universally know they have cancer before the diagnosis.

Set aside a little time each day to relax and be at peace to allow the spirit to flow into you from God.  It is like a telephone.  Shut up and listen. 

Saturday, July 26, 2014

What I learned from having Cancer

Orange for Leukemia 
What I learned from having Cancer

When I was diagnosed
…I was forced to slow down and realize that there is perfection in every moment
…I learned that being dependent on someone, does not make me weak
…I stopped trying to save the world and became more effective by concentrating on just one challenge
…I found that chemotherapy is not as bad as everyone thinks
I had time to reflect on the past and appreciate my accomplishments
I stopped settling for second best because I realize my worth.
I turned my bedroom from a flop house to a sanctuary
I threw out rubbish and unnecessary stuff so no one had to do that when I’m gone.
…I asked my kids forgiveness for some bad decisions I made during their childhood and they laughed at my silliness.
I learned that if today is a bad one, tomorrow will be better.
I understand that I am alone on this journey and it feels OK.
I have come close to kicking the bucket a couple of times and I discovered that dying is not scary.
I stopped listening to unsolicited phone calls and found that saying NO is liberating.
I learned that…well-meaning people who never had cancer tell you that strange concoctions, howling at the moon and drinking holy cows piss from India is the cure.
…that speaking my truth allows others to speak theirs.
I understand that I don’t have to be brave and put up with pain; that pain can be managed.
I found that UK medical personnel can’t say prick, and having a needle stuck in your arm is described as a scratch, but hospitals have Spotty Dick Pudding on the menu.
I no longer care what time I sleep or when I eat … anytime is perfect.
I have learned that taking control of the little things in my life improves my chances of living fully
…that want to is more important than have to
...that having a rare cancer is far worse than having the garden variety type that everyone, including the medical profession understands 
…that there is always someone else in a leakier boat than mine
My mind is open to miraculous possibilities, my heart is open to giving and receiving love … and all is peaceful in my world.
 Copyright Dianne Lang