Showing posts with label body awareness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label body awareness. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 29, 2019

Taking Control over my Health .. it's going to be a ride ....

Sooooo, as my day stretches in front of me, this totally stoned out my tree am waiting for Sammy M Bella coming this morning for my 3 x week detox, And this afternoon I have Alison and Lynn Erasmus Van Vuuren coming to do Acudetox on me (they stick those thin needles into you). Sammy M Bella is going to help me shower and change into fresh clothes. Patrick has already dosed me with the black stuff and I am starting to feel rather ... let us say ... delayed. I use half the anti-nausea tablets I was using and I have only been on this road since Friday .... Oh, and I'm juicing it too.
When doctors hear hoofbeats they only think of horses ... they have forgotten that zebras also have hooves.  I am a zebra and I will not be shut up by uncaring doctors or an unhelpful medical review team at Discovery.   I have the right to the best medical care with the best doctors for my rare case.  No one has the right to humiliate and embarrass me because their egos are so big that they can't handle the fact that I know more about medicine than suits them.  Pulling them down from the trees is not a good idea because they talk amongst themselves and you will never get an appointment with that specialist for the next year.   What are we to do?  Shut up and put up with their shit when our premiums at Discovery are so high?  Or do we educate the rarediseases department at Discovery although they are never available to talk to.   God, I am here and don't know what I was saying or thinking when I started this so once I am no longer stoned, I hope I remember to come and read what I wrote and if I wrote shit, I hope you will forgive me ... my excuse?   I am very very very sstttttooooned

Monday, January 4, 2016

The Alien Thing Surrounding My Spirit

I don’t belong in my body anymore.  It is an alien thing that carries the core of me around.  It does not fit; it is uncomfortable and is almost manikin-like in its oddness.  My body and movement is no longer a reflection of who I am inside.  There are two punishments in life that are incredibly cruel.  One is to isolate a person from love and society and the other is to live with an incurable, rare and debilitating disease.  I have experienced both. My body that is the vessel that holds my soul is crumbling and dying infinitely slowly.  My spirit can still soar like an eagle through the sky, with a gentle breeze pushing it along so that my soul flies unimpeded and on gentle wings.  Is this my punishment for mistakes in my past?  Does this physical suffering have a purpose other than to make me more aware of the suffering of others?  It takes enormous effort not to allow my body to impede my spirit.  Sometimes I just get lost.  Sometimes I feel like I am trying to empty the ocean with a bucket and all attempts to heal this body are in vain.  I am not my body.  I am spirit but I am also imprisoned in this human shell.

Will my body and my spirit be forever separated here on earth?  Will I not be able to physically do the things I long to do?  May the Maker of us all give me the strength to endure.    I am now a living, breathing, and mirror image of a TellyTubby grandmother.