Thursday, October 31, 2019

STONED ...


The picture here was taken so that I could show the nurses what happens when they try to draw blood or put up a drip and they have to use the chemo-port. Just one of the many, many challenges I have when I go into hospital and do not behave or get blood results like other people.

Doctors recognise what they have been taught and only see what they recognise is what one professor told me and that is so true. When looking at blood results, for example, they will count the red blood cells and give you a number which will tell you whether you are positive or negative or whatever, But they don't bloody look to see if the cell actually is capable of doing the job!! On my full blood count my WBC is way up there .... could never get sick on it. However, on closer examination, it is found that that little B cell is a blasted cancer cell and the other is immature so can't stop the germ. There is a missing enzyme.

And then, of course, there are doctors that think horses when they hear hoofbeats and will never hear the hoofbeats of a zebra. I am a Zebra. After what I could seriously call a basic human rights violation by the medical aid, I have decided to do my own methods and use those of the medical fields that can help me and I have my own regime ... one of which is having one hundred percent uncut black raw cannabis oil full dosage 3 x a day. The one thing I have come to like is this feeling that everything is going to be OK. And I truly believe if I can get to Bloemfontein to Dr Frieda Pienaar, she will save my life.


While being stoned during this new regime may sound good and hilariously funny, it also allows for massive creativity. The things I can make in my head ... and the words I type for my book just flows ... just being calm and delayed. So you mooching along happily and then suddenly ....you feel like you are dying ... you are back in that horrible body that aches everywhere, where the slightest touch of a hand on my skin feels like sandpaper when every step screams pain in a vomit sounding screech where you struggle for air and when you just can't lift your own leg into bed ... Fuck it!!. From the heights of glory to the pits of hell.

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