Monday, May 4, 2015

Some of the reasons why I feel disconcerted about Jansen’s book!

Page 307

“Dit voel asof ‘n gewig wat te swaar word om af te gooi op my Afrikanerborskas druk. Dit is ‘n wekroep. Ek beset dat dit te na aan die afgrond begin loop het … Aan die een kant besef ek dat as ek nie so diep in die hart Van die hoer … ingeklim het nie, sou ek nie tot groter insig kon kom oor Eugene die mens, die soldaat en die sluipmoordenaar van die staat nie. Om die boek oor Eugene en die tydperk van waansin van die Vlakplaas-era te kon voltooi, moes ek kop eerste inspring. Aan die ander kant voel dit vir my ek weet nou te veel. Ek moet uit. Ek wil uit”

These last two sentences have made me extremely angry – why was she visiting and chasing after colleagues of EdK if she did not feel comfortable? Was this seriously done for the good of Eugene or just another way of feathering her nest? The unsavoury comments that are flowing out of every media advertising of this book is bringing up more hate than is necessary in the comments, but she is not there to defend the main character of her book. I am an outsider to her views and character regarding the reasons she wrote this book, but I am very much an insider to EdK due to the thousands of hours I have spent researching and reading.

She goes on to quote from Antjie Krog’s Country of my Skull by concluding that “We (Afrikaners) are so utterly sorry. We are deeply ashamed and gripped with remorse”. (My italics) Was Jansen just one more person who used Eugene? Has Eugene de Kock not been used by far too many people already? I am not ashamed, nor am I gripped with remorse over our past. I am not ashamed of Eugene. He kept us, as well as people like Jansen, safe in their beds.

I am deeply ashamed by the say the apartheid government used Eugene de Kock as the scapegoat for the collective responsibility of the entire cabinet and their minions. I am deeply ashamed that we left one of our own behind. We still have to work on bringing our brother home permanently.