STONED ...
The picture here was taken so that I could show the nurses what happens when they try to draw blood or put up a drip and they have to use the chemo-port. Just one of the many, many challenges I have when I go into hospital and do not behave or get blood results like other people.
Doctors recognise what they have been taught and only see what they recognise is what one professor told me and that is so true. When looking at blood results, for example, they will count the red blood cells and give you a number which will tell you whether you are positive or negative or whatever, But they don't bloody look to see if the cell actually is capable of doing the job!! On my full blood count my WBC is way up there .... could never get sick on it. However, on closer examination, it is found that that little B cell is a blasted cancer cell and the other is immature so can't stop the germ. There is a missing enzyme.
And then, of course, there are doctors that think horses when they hear hoofbeats and will never hear the hoofbeats of a zebra. I am a Zebra. After what I could seriously call a basic human rights violation by the medical aid, I have decided to do my own methods and use those of the medical fields that can help me and I have my own regime ... one of which is having one hundred percent uncut black raw cannabis oil full dosage 3 x a day. The one thing I have come to like is this feeling that everything is going to be OK. And I truly believe if I can get to Bloemfontein to Dr Frieda Pienaar, she will save my life.
While being stoned during this new regime may sound good and hilariously funny, it also allows for massive creativity. The things I can make in my head ... and the words I type for my book just flows ... just being calm and delayed. So you mooching along happily and then suddenly ....you feel like you are dying ... you are back in that horrible body that aches everywhere, where the slightest touch of a hand on my skin feels like sandpaper when every step screams pain in a vomit sounding screech where you struggle for air and when you just can't lift your own leg into bed ... Fuck it!!. From the heights of glory to the pits of hell.
Taking Control over my Health .. it's going to be a ride ....
Sooooo, as my day stretches in front of me, this totally stoned out my tree am waiting for Sammy M Bella coming this morning for my 3 x week detox, And this afternoon I have Alison and Lynn Erasmus Van Vuuren coming to do Acudetox on me (they stick those thin needles into you). Sammy M Bella is going to help me shower and change into fresh clothes. Patrick has already dosed me with the black stuff and I am starting to feel rather ... let us say ... delayed. I use half the anti-nausea tablets I was using and I have only been on this road since Friday .... Oh, and I'm juicing it too.
When doctors hear hoofbeats they only think of horses ... they have forgotten that zebras also have hooves. I am a zebra and I will not be shut up by uncaring doctors or an unhelpful medical review team at Discovery. I have the right to the best medical care with the best doctors for my rare case. No one has the right to humiliate and embarrass me because their egos are so big that they can't handle the fact that I know more about medicine than suits them. Pulling them down from the trees is not a good idea because they talk amongst themselves and you will never get an appointment with that specialist for the next year. What are we to do? Shut up and put up with their shit when our premiums at Discovery are so high? Or do we educate the rarediseases department at Discovery although they are never available to talk to. God, I am here and don't know what I was saying or thinking when I started this so once I am no longer stoned, I hope I remember to come and read what I wrote and if I wrote shit, I hope you will forgive me ... my excuse? I am very very very sstttttooooned
Actually, I just woke up one day ....
So the plan is for me to take control and no longer put up with incompetent and arrogant doctors who know nothing about these two rare diseases. And when doctors hear hoofbeats they think horses ... they forget that there may be a zebra or two amongst that lot that different treatment to the majority. I just decided on Friday ... fuck it. They are going to let me die and not treat me as protocol because their egos are so big that a patient can't possibly know more about the disease than you do - Massage and Acudetox three times a week to eliminate all the drugs that have been through it and going on a strict, high dosage cannabis oil....not cut. As I am not used to it yet, I am very delayed because I am stoned out my bracket. Then ... I want to go to Dr Pienaar at the Mediclinic in Bloemfontein and she said "Come, let me know and I will book you a bed in oncology" when I told her about my experience here. An ambulance costs a lot so you may see some crowdfunding going on on social media. Sometimes one has to be humble enough to ask when you need help. And I need help to get to Dr Pienaar, If you have a connection anywhere about fundraising please contact Lynn Erasmus Van Vuuren on FaceBook. Enough is enough now. I am coming out of my corner fighting. I want to LIVE!!! I have that right. And I am asking for your help. Being stoned makes it easy to be humble.
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