I Will Run
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| Lost like tears in the rain |
I am
lost. Who am I and why am I here? The same questions asked over thousands of
years and yet, each one of us at some time or another will ask those same
questions. I have had an awful day so
far, a day when I felt lost like tears in the rain, not knowing if there is any
reason for being. Today was the day I
had set aside to kill myself. I had
decided that if I could not get any medication to control my pain, I would allow
my spirit to leave this earth today.
Three
weeks ago I was prescribed the medication – an injection every 6 hours which
gives me 4 hours of pain relief and only 2 hours of despair – and that goes on
day after day. Four hours without pain
is a gift that is indescribable to someone who has not had chronic and
debilitating pain.
Do I
run away from or do I run to life? And
as though I hear the voice of God speaking directly to me I know which way to
go.
I will
run for my life and I will run towards helping my fellowmen. I will forever run towards those who can't
run, who can't speak, who can't choose ... I will run. I will run to defend others, but I will run to
defend myself and the truth at all or any cost.
I will run.
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