Friday, January 11, 2019

Indifferent Relationships

There are three kinds of relationships. Good, bad and indifferent, and the last one is the worst kind. Few people mention that their dreams at the beginning of the relationship have become a downward spiral of just surviving … just making it through the day … the week…the year. And the quiet complaint of “You don’t bring me flowers anymore” goes unanswered. He may just be too busy watching TV.
The unexpressed gets pushed further and further down and the silence becomes a sore, hot and inflamed that results in a self-loathing of ourselves because we cannot get ourselves and our needs heard. The more we keep on saying to ourselves, “It’s alright”, when it clearly is not, the more we begin to resent not only our partners but ourselves as well.
Don’t settle down for something less, something you swore would never happen. It is not the kind of world that we can settle for the kind of marriage that our parents had. The world is different and so are our needs. 
Be courageous and state your truth for often, when you state your truth, your partner can state his.

Tuesday, January 8, 2019

Why it is so hard to Forgive

Forgiveness is not something that happens as a single event with an honest apology or acknowledgment of the wrongdoing. Forgiveness is an on-going process, because every time you think of that person, you have to forgive again, every time music or a smell or sound reminds you ... you have to forgive again. Without the culprit acknowledging the wrong-doing, he continues to see you as a worthless person. He needs to acknowledge the part he played in the hurt he created. By doing that, he is then able to give the victim back his or her self-worth as part of the human race. And only then can the forgiving begin. Perhaps the "forgive 7 x 70" from the good book talks about just this ... that forgiveness for the same hurt takes 490 times before it comes to an end. I don't know if that made sense to you, but it has just made perfect sense to me!! I get so pissed off when I am told to forgive and forget. I would be most stupid to forgive and forget so that I can put myself in the same situation again. For me ... it is a sincere apology first and then the process of forgiveness can begin.

Tuesday, January 1, 2019

The Modus Operandi of the Trial of Heinrich van Rooyen

Adv. Terry Price 
For reasons which become obvious by going through the court records and the letters from Lunen Meyer to Mr van Rooyen during the investigation and the trial, Lunen Meyer persuaded and coerced Mr van Rooyen Snr to postpone the case so that Adv Van Der Vyver could be available for the trial, knowing that Trollip and his henchmen had worked hard to tamper with evidence in the Inge Lotz case in Cape Town in which Adv Van Der Vyver prosecuted and lost the case.   The same modus operandi took place in Heinrich van Rooyen’s trial and it is remiss that the defense team of Adv Terry Price lost the case, as the defense team won the Inge Lotz case and the accused walked free.  Heini’s trial was a travesty of justice created by all those involved in the investigation and the trial.  The trial judge, Adv, N Erasmus was biased and unreasonable - another human rights abuse.  Too much emphasis was also placed on the fact that Heini danced, went out with and was friendly with white girls, causing the trial to have an undertone of racism. This too is a human rights abuse.