Confessions from Dianne Lang on the Free Eugene de Kock Group

I have a confession to make to the members of the FREE EUGENE DE KOCK PAGE.

I have never bullshitted anyone on this site, other than keeping my trap shut when I was given sensitive information. That information and any other sensitive issues will be taken to my grave. That being said, it has been my MO to always work for the cause of the release of Eugene de Kock in a peaceful and legal way.

However, during the last debacle with the media, I became militant in my fight. I still kept my mouth shut, but found it exceedingly more difficult when my ‘legal and peaceful’ means of obtaining information was disregarded by numerous people. My frustration levels went over the top and I sat fuming and dreaming of various means of getting him out and away – all of them illegal and militant. However, these feelings were inside me and I did not pick up the pen to write them down, nor did I discuss them with anyone except my mother, whom most of you will know is 82 years old and thinks we are a bunch of ninnies for not having got him out of prison already and for doing everything by the book.

There is ALWAYS a reason behind what I do and with FREE EUGENE DE KOCK, I never write without a lot of thought and research. My comments are NEVER spontaneous on the group – they are always weighed and measured, over and over. I also check my information over and over and do not take the first thing I hear as the truth. Often, it will take weeks before I have confirmation of something and only then do I post a comment. I often cannot tell you the reason why I say what I say because I would NEVER betray a trust, will NEVER reveal a source, nor would I EVER do anything that could even remotely harm or hurt Eugene. This means that other members often assume that I don’t know what I am talking about and I have to with-hold the response and realize that a hurt ego is only that. I do not need to scream that I know what I am doing. With-holding my often angry and frustrated response has become easier and easier.

Eugene’s freedom is far, far more important than individual egos. I have never wanted anything from doing this work – all I wanted was for Eugene to be unconditionally released or pardoned. I do not have to meet him but I would dearly like to see a photo or a video of him walking free, with the wind behind him, the sun on his shoulders and a future that looks bright for him. My MO in this cause is based on compassion for another human being, a desire to put a wrong right and to see justice done. I have no ulterior motive and I will not, nor will I ever want to benefit in any way from this.

Members have various reasons for becoming a member of this group, and there are as many reasons as there are members. The one thing that has kept us together, that has been the glue has been the desire to see him freed based on compassion. We have in one voice, asked the same thing and we are a group in harmony with one another. Given that, we also have had the spies, the spooks, the agent provocateurs and those who wanted to benefit from Eugene’s circumstances. I have fought them behind the scenes where necessary, and with the help of Ben, James and Dewalt (and often Stef) we have banned, blocked and deleted them. Some, me in particular, have kept some of these people close to me. The reason? The Art of War. Keep your friends close but your enemies closer. I have learned the skills of espionage – And I have used those skills for the benefit of our cause.

Although I am confined by my physical restrictions and am a prisoner of my body, I am completely free because I have nothing to lose. Therefore, I don’t always have to play it safe. I skate along the edge often and have had to get used to being the recipient of the most deleted posts. This happens when the other admins decide that I am pushing the envelope too far. And here comes my second confession: I have not kept all the admins in the loop. A secret is a secret and is only a secret when it is never shared. If I have hurt anyone by my words – please forgive me for my intentions have always been to keep my eye on the ball, never letting anything obstruct my path in this walk for freedom for another man. I have disregarded hurt and bruised personalities and egos. I have made a lot of enemies, but I have been blessed with a great deal many friends of integrity, honesty and compassion.

Eugene’s life is in danger and he has been threatened. These threats come from everywhere, and even on our group, there are those who would prefer it if he stayed in prison. We are living in such a sick society that threats to Eugene’s life are even given front page space in the media – including mentioning the person who wants to kill him. I am sure that you did see my response to that threat that I sent to the editor and it was published. Once he was given parole by the Minister of Justice and Correctional Services, we were inundated with requests to join our group. I conveyed my feelings to the other admin officers and we decided not to allow new members on the group. If they had not given a damn about Eugene before the parole, why were they bothering now? Curiosity and a suspect MO does not get you into our group.

Many people are afraid of signing the petition – they think that they will get into trouble with the ANC and although they are members, they won’t sign the petition and they do not comment. They just sit on the side-line, like watching a tennis match. Deep down in their hearts they are compassionate, but they lack the courage to stand up. The oppressed does not see any difference between the oppressor and the man who stands by and says nothing. And bad things happen when good men remain silent.

This is the longest and most difficult journey I decided to take on. It has seen me crying in frustration, angry to the point of becoming militant, laughing with joy and falling into the depths of despair. I have taken on other challenging journeys, but this one was different. I studied and researched for months before I began. I believed that this was a fight that could be won. And I still do.

The members of this group have come to the table over and over again – when money was needed for legal representation, they gave unstintingly. James Marx has spent thousands of hours on the site, checking who is who in the zoo before allowing them on. Ben Kruger has led us away from the cul-de-sacs with his quiet and rational thinking many times, and has also spent thousands of hours on this cause. The women on the group have been the most vocal in demanding his freedom and for that they need saluting. The men and women who were his colleagues have also given unstintingly of their money and support. Croucamp visited him in prison for 20 years when there was no one else around. And then there are those who cannot be named, who have done so much towards our desire for his freedom, many who have never even met him, but believed in the rightness of our mission. And a final thank you to the previously oppressed who saw through the propaganda, realized we are all a product of the society in which we lived, and asked for his release. They are too many to mention by name.

So, this is my confession, first to the members, and secondly to the admins.

The struggle continues ... victory is certain.